If wishes fell like rain, then certainly I am a storm.

I am a single pebble, living in a cruel world.

Wishing upon wishes that everything will end up okay

That I’ll marry someone I love, have a semi-big family of 3-4-5 kids, be happy & successful, & not have to worry that much.

That my anxiety will go away & I won’t have to deal w/ constant worrying & the unfortunate fact that I can’t put weight on my stomach, bc it will make my stomach hurt. No, I can’t even rest my hands on my stomach.

That I’ll be able to find a medicine for ADD that will work & not have many side effects, & finally be tested & diagnosed for ADD.

That I’ll stay close w/ my best friends & find them in the next life.

That all my mistakes won’t come back to hurt me or haunt me.

That I won’t have to pretend sometimes that I’m happy or put on a fake face w/out realizing it when I’m actually dying inside.

That I won’t keep accidentally dissociating myself from my body so when I see myself in the mirror it doesn’t look like I’m just controlling a body.

That I’ll stop flinching & freezing when I’m around him.

That I’ll realize I can’t ever be perfect & stop reaching for the impossible when what I’ve always dreamed for is right there in my line of sight.

That I’ll realize what it is I actually want.

That I’ll stop hiding parts of me that don’t need to be hidden so I don’t feel so confused.

That I’ll stop overthinking everything.

That I’ll actually get shit done.

That I’ll figure out what’s wrong w/ me & get it fixed.

So I am wishing. & I will continue wishing.