Promises are fickle things. They strain when held onto too long, cracking like old concrete trampled by scurrying feet.

 Of course, it doesn’t seem to matter when you’re young, innocent. Burdens of times yet to come unbelievable, immaturity and stubbornness clouding your vision of the future. But age comes with much. Opportunities, beliefs, knowledge. You can do so much, it’s almost overwhelming. It makes you want to try it all.

 Yet why doesn’t he want to try?

 For me?

 For my childishness?

 For my endless curiosity fueled by the nostalgic need to never let go.

 To never forget.

 But how could he forget the promise he enacted? The one he engraved into the deepest, most hopeful part of my heart and mind and body and soul. When we were kids, we said we would marry. When we were in middle school, we said we would date. When we were in high school, he promised he would propose after our graduation. The concepts of our dreams changed, but the centrality of it never did; to stay.

 Perhaps I’m being selfish. He’s going through so much. And I’ve tried to stay close to him, to give him support to balance his grief.

 So, as I’m holding him in my arms, his shaking form sobbing into my chest, I can’t help but be self-centered. But I love him. I love him so, so much. I love the way his nose scrunches up when he laughs; I love the little dimples he gets on his back when he puts his shirt on; I love how he always has to take home every cat he finds on the street; I love when he lets me cuddle onto his chest as we watch cheesy movies. I love him so, so much.

But I hate the way he cries; I hate the way his grief consumes him; I hate the way he bottles things up until it explodes into salty water streaming down his eyes.

 I hate the way he tries to be perfect, when he so clearly already is.

 Now, I fear he might not want to hold our promise through his sadness. As narcissistic as it is, I want his name behind mine, forever. Even as tears run down his face, I want to bind our lives together.

 I want him to feel in his heart what I feel for him all the time. But his heart still misses the dead, the gone.

 I just want him to stay with me. In the present, in the future.

 Forever.

A/N:

ok colleenhoovercore why so toxic 🤨

uhm i didnt try to make it so like possesively apathetic but i refuse to rewrite this stuff ‼️ it hurts my soul too much

this doesn’t fit the prompt whatsoever but i tried y’all i swear 🙏

i js got a bit carried away

as carried away as ~400 words can be 💀 i quit it’s js too hard not writing fantasy

delicious dookie 🤤

also ik my punctuation and grammar is goofy ahh but even tho i didnt put in on the feedback stuff pls js point out everything wrong 😀