"Checkmate" said scrunchy face. That wasn't his actual name, but I'd taken to calling him that because I don't like him much. I think it fits him well.

"Dang, again?" said my human, his name is Martin. He Isn't that good at chess, and scrunchy face has been bullying him for the last 15 games in a row. I finally decided to put a stop to it. I watched as they set up the pieces, before Martin could respond to scrunchy face's opening, I stepped in. I pushed his pawn to e5, taking over for him. He backed away, allowing me to face off against his opponent. The game continued, with me dominating my far weaker foe. we played many games, with me winning every single time. It was almost too easy, considering I had the combined knowledge of all cats everywhere. Which is surprisingly a lot, cats are smart. I won again and again, scrunchy face gave up, and I rein victorious over the chess board.

"Mind if I have a go?" scrunchy face's goldfish, Stock said.