"I've had enough" I muttered under my breath.

"What?" he enquired, turning his head to look at me with a quizzical look on his face.

"Never mind" I gave up. We were on the bus home together and this was not the place to have this discussion.

"No, go on, please" He begged. He had a slight smirk on his face as he leaned over the table we shared to poke me with his pen. I sighed, realising that this was it. This was the moment that I would have to confess how I have felt for all these years.

"Fine Kit. Fine. I have had enough of waiting." I yelled. I heard distant giggles and a few friends hushing each other to draw their attention to my sudden outburst.

"Molly, what-" His face dropped in surprise, I had never spoken to him like this. He was used to the cheeky Molly, the doting Molly, the Molly who praised his every action.

"Let me talk Kit." I commanded as I looked at him with sharp and focused eyes, confirming that he was listening to me before I continued.

"I have had enough of having to watch you and that perfect, thin beautiful girl. I thought that if I waited long enough that things between you and her wouldn't work. I know, how selfish of me. But, I'm sick of it. It's not your fault of course, I am being unfair but it is eating me up inside after lying to you for this long. I love you. No, I am borderline obsessed. I document your every movement in my head, every comment, every glance my way. I cling on to each little moment, hoping that it is some sort of signal of interest, a message or method of telling me that you need me just as much as I need you. I thought that being your friend was enough so I stole every possible opportunity just to be by your side and I thought that it would suffice. Now I realise that it is just causing me more pain than pleasure. You don't love me, you don't even fancy me, I am not beautiful to you and she is your partner. So, I need to step away. I need to leave."

I stopped, pulled my legs up to my chest on the spair seat next to me and leant my head on my knees. My eyes remained on his as my as I hugged my knees. He was still, eyes were wide and breath had slowed as he looked at me and then down to the floor. The bus felt empty, even though it was heaving with the bodies of students, who had now fallen silent, listening to my confession and fishing out the story for themselves.

5 minutes had passed without a word from the boy. I was getting nervous and started tapping my foot against the chair. He sat across from me on a little table that we had managed to take before any other students could. The bus was rocking up and down from any unevenness on the road. I knew that I had already ruined our friendship and I was prepared for that as soon as I got on the bus with Kit. I knew I would have an outburst after the events of the day. I was stressed, tired and lonely, overwhelmed by the self-deprecation that I had been going through for weeks now. I hate lying, I hate keeping secrets and I hated pretending like I could just move on.

The bus came to a stop and we both looked outside, it was his stop. With a sudden sense of urgency, he grabbed his backpack, put his phone in his back pocket and ran down the stairs of the bus, without so much as a good bye. I mean, what was I expecting? Him to kiss me and confess his love? He had a girlfriend. Not only that but he had just lost a good friend, who he had trusted and felt comfortable with. I was selfish. I was greedy. I got what I deserved.

Maybe it's time to move on.