"I'll be right over." I put the speaking sphere back on its charging plinth. I can't help but feel elated. I know we said we were going to take things slow. Give us time to grow. But this is exactly what I was hoping we would achieve. I asked him to let me in. Fully and completely let me in. And now, he is tearing down the bricks that have walled off his heart. Elation doesn't even begin to describe it.

"Hey, Tessa. I'm heading over to Xander's. Don't wait up." I say to my roommate as I begin to lace up my boots. She looks up from the folio she is reading on our lounger.

"You sure that's a good idea? I thought you were trying to give yourself some distance. Not spend every waking minute together. Try for some…independence?" She narrows her turquoise eyes at me. I've always liked Tessa. She's shorter than I am, with golden hair that cascades down her back and a mile wide smile. She never seemed to warm to my boyfriend, Xander, though.

Xander. I don't even know how to describe the way this man has carved his way into my heart and established his throne. Like it was his birthright. Like he's always known this is where his kingdom resides.

We met at our college's orentation picnic two years ago. All the Magick Arts initiates attend. Since our respective quadrants only allow a few apprentices in each year, the entire Magick Arts become very close. The moment I first laid eyes on Xander, there was definitely something between us. An electric charge or maybe we were cosmic magnets pulled toward each other from across the universe. It was all wildly intense.

I was still shy and meeting new people always gave me a twinge of anxiety. I was standing back from the crowd, observing all around me. New initiates excitedly meeting other new initiates. Second and third year apprentices greeting each other again after break. Noticing who seemed to be drawn to whom.

I may have not approached him, but I was very aware of him. You couldn't help but be aware of him. He had dark umber hair that casually waved over his brows. He had a kind of effortless style I always envied. He wore a simple white t-shirt and fitted pants of smoke grey that had my eyes raking over his rugged body. He talked to everyone. Previous years apprentices, new initiates. Even professors gravitated toward him. His smile was infectious. Perfectly aligned teeth behind playful full lips. I was too far away to know what had him laughing, but I instantly wanted to be the one to summon his laughter.

He had caught me staring. Shit. Now I'm the weirdo who is eye fucking some random. Is that what I was doing? He smirked at me and started a path right to me. Every step he took in my direction I could feel an intensity rising in my chest. I had half a crazy urge to run the distance to him and ... I have no idea what I would have done.

I had to tell my racing heart to calm down. I had no idea why this stranger was eliciting such a response. I've always felt I was sensitive to the energies of others, but this was like a tidal wave coming at me. Radiating off his chest with a fiery heat. I felt a burning within me, low in my abdomen and coursing its way through my veins. By the time he reached me, I was nearly breathless from, I couldn't even tell.

"Hey there. Great view, isn't it?" Gods, why is he so close to me.

"Excuse me?" Did I just fucking GIGGLE? What is wrong with me?

"The picnic. Everyone coming together. New initiates. Practiced apprentices. Even our professors. All here to share their love and knowledge of magick. Quite a sight. Don't you think?" He appraised me with wink. My skin tingled.

Oh Gods. Great. I'm attracted to a pompous apprentice. Well doesn't that just sip the tea. Time to step away from this man before I do something foolish like stare into his eyes.

Oh fuck. His eyes. They are set back deep beneath his brows. Long onyx lashes that seem to tease kissing his face when he blinks. But it's the color that is drawing me in. So dark in hue it's almost like coal, but when the light catches just right they're iridescent. There is blue, and violet, green. All at once and yet not at all. I find myself barely breathing again.

"Does she speak?" He asks, gazing down at me.

"Yes. I do." I fire back with more force than I intended.

Those eyes graze over me, head to toe. As if he's determining if I'm worth investing anymore energy into. I can feel my cheeks flush with a growing indignation and maybe, if I were to be honest with myself, a little desire.

"What's your quadrant?" He asks, his eyes penetrating mine. I guess, I'm worth his energy.

"Magick Historian." I respond, my pulse coming down. He scoffs. Well, that calm didn't last very long. "What?" I shoot at him.

"You come here to study the history of magick? You don't want to practice or wield?" What a dick!

"Not that it's any of your business, but I happen to enjoy learning the history of our magick. Its that knowledge that helps us to understand it's power and what keeps us from losing it or worse corrupting it."

"Hmmm." he hums as if he doesn't believe me. I've about had enough of him. Attraction or not, I am not about to be made to feel less than for enjoying the quest for knowledge and understanding.

"Let me guess. You're in Divination?" I spat it like an insult.

"Hardly," He jeers. "Evocation. Starting my third year. Envious, yet?" Of course he is. I roll my eyes.

"Not even a little bit. What's the point of being able to call upon the energies and magick of the earth if you don't fully appreciate where it all came from." I aim to sound more secure in my words than I am.

"You can't wield, can you." It's not a question. Fuck.

"What I can or cannot do is none of your business." I hope my hurt hasn't cut through.

"Interesting." He muses. And I think he means it. Fuck this guy. I am not his to ponder.

"Well, if you'll excuse me. I think I've gathered all the knowledge I care to know about you." I make a move to leave, to move anywhere that isn't next to him.

"You're a real peach when you're pissed." He laughs. He's amused. He's fucking amused. DICK! I start to walk toward the stream that is at edge of the field. But even as my feet take the first few steps I want to turn back around and be in his presence. Get a grip, woman!

"I'll be seeing you, Peaches." He calls to my back. Don't turn around. Don't turn around. Don't turn... dammit! He winks at me as I look over my shoulder and my heart flutters.

As much as I tried to distance myself from him from that day on, I kept coming back. Drawn to him. Like his soul called to me. It wasn't long before we were sharing our secrets between the sheets. When you have that kind of instant chemistry it's only a matter of time before magick happens.

Though I let him fully into my heart, his was walled. I didn't want to pry it apart and force my way in. But I wanted in. In the year and half we've been together he's let me visit. But I wanted to take up residency. Make his heart my permanent home. Even after all his promises and declarations of devotion, he still didn't let me in.

I was afraid that we were headed for an impasse. Maybe I was being too pushy in demanding all of his heart. Perhaps if I didn't pursue so hard and let him open at his own pace, he'd allow me inside. After all he is graduating this year and I will still be studying for another two years. Maybe the intensity of our chemistry is overwhelming. Perhaps our love should simmer instead of boil. So we made the decision to allow ourselves to simmer. Learning to grow our selfs outside of us. Perhaps we were, as Tessa claims, too co-dependent.

So when he reached me on the speaking sphere this afternoon and told me he had a shitty day and just needed to talk to his best friend, my feeling was elation. I'm being let in.

"He said he wants to talk to me about his day. Apparently, it was bad." I tell Tessa. "When was the last time you knew Xander to ever be vulnerable?"

Tessa's look has way too much compassion for my current mood. "Alright. Have a good night." She returns to her folio.

I leave my chambers and head toward his. The night is turning cool. I can feel the frost flirting with the breeze, but autumn isnt quite ready to give into winter just yet. Their courtship will last a bit longer. There is little light on the short walk to his chambers. A few mage lights are lit along the path between the dormitories as the new moon is out tonight. I put my hope in her.

I enter his building a few moments later and trekk the familiar path to his room. He opens the door before I even have to knock. We have that strong of a sense of each other. We can detect each other’s presence in our bones before our eyes ever see a silhouette.

“Hi, Peaches,” he sighs. For the first time since he contacted me, I feel unnerved. His nickname for me is always spoken with a playful enthusiasm. This tone is forlorn. Broken. I can feel my heart constrict.

He holds the door open for me and I walk past him, into his bed chamber, the setting of so many wonderours memories. I feel as if the room has just shifted, ever so slightly. Nothing changes when I hear the door click behind me, yet everything feels like it changed. The room is heavy.

“Thanks for being here. I need you.” What happened to him?

I turn to look at him standing by the door. Gods, he’s beautiful. He’s only wearing soft sleep pants and I can’t help but notice his outline. A warmth rushes through me and it takes a deep breath to steady the growing heat and stop myself from pressing my body against his form so I can feel him grow against my touch.

“Anytime. Everytime. You know that. What happened today?” My heart begins to crack when I see the agony in his eyes. Violet against the ochre. I know his emotions by which color the light reflects. What has wounded my love?

“It’s been a fucking shit day.” He runs his hands through his hair as he sighs. I know this move, too. Steeling himself for something unpleasant.

“Okay.” I’m hesitant. “Tell me what happened.”

He takes his hand from his hair shoves them in the pockets of his sleep pants. His eyes growing more violet each breath he takes.

“Before I tell you, I need you to do me a favor.” I knod. “I need you to be my best friend right now.” Again, knod. If a friend is what he needs, then his friend I will be. There is nothing I won’t be for this man.

He takes a deep exhale. “Okay. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking today… about my girlfriend.”

This is…unexpected. “What about your girlfriend?” I query, heart thudding.

“Well, she’s just about perfect. Kind. Compassionate. Talented. Funny as fuck. So beautiful. She’d make a wonderful wife. If she ever wanted children, she’d be devoted to them. She’s the best person I know. My absolute best friend in this realm.”

My heart is constricting with panic and confusion because his words of devotion do not match the misery in his tone or the grief in his posture.

“Alright. If she’s so perfect,” I can barely choke out the words, “what’s wrong?”

Anguish greets my eyes. “I’m not in love with her.” I can’t breathe. “And I don’t think I ever was.” Oh fuck! I can’t breathe!

“Well.” Don’t break! “That IS a problem.” Try to take a breath. I can’t you fucking fool! “If that is how you truly feel,” you will NOT cry. “then I think you need to tell her.” You will not let him see you break apart!

“I just did.” His words eviserate what is left of my heart. He looks absolutely tortured. My instinct is to rush to him. Kiss away the tears that have welled in his eyes. Pull his heart into mine and magick away his suffering.

But I don’t have a heart anymore. He gutted it. There is only a shredded wound where my heart used to be. I can’t feel it anymore. I feel hollow. Empty. Void.

“I…I should go.” I walk toward the door he’s still standing in front of. Numbness is mixing with the panic of before and I am feeling wholly overwhelmed. He holds the door open for me and as I walk out, out of my future, out of my heart, out of everything I’ve ever loved, he grabs my hand. I look down at it. Those strong hands with his long fingers, knobby knuckles, and calloused palms has me pause. I want to yank my hand from his grasp. But I also want his hands on me, in me. If this is the last time I am to feel his touch I want it all. His squeeze has me looking up into the distress of his eyes. I see indigo gazing back at me.

“I’m sorry, Peaches.” His tone is pleading. And Gods save me I want to help him. I want to cast every spell I’ve ever researched to expell that torment from him.

“I know you are.” Even when he just sliced me open to bleed on his floor I’m still offering my blood.

I somehow manage to take my hand from his. With one last look of woe, he closes the door behind me. With that final snap of the latch my connection to him is severed. No more pull of the magnet. No connection. In shattering my heart he destroyed us.

The new moon has fully risen.