"Tell me!" My heart hurt like someone was trying to reach into my chest and pull it out. My breathing raced and I felt my face twist into something horrible.

He looked distraught. "I I I I don't know. I mean I do know. I did it because it was what felt safest."

I shook my head, "Tell me why you did this over ALL of the other things you could have done. ALL of the other courses of action." I gestured wildly, nearly hitting a stack of books off of his desk.

His eyes widened, "I needed to protect myself, I don't know why you don't see that. Living a double life allowed me freedom to dismantle what the Raiders have wrought."

"What they have WROUGHT?" I was shrieking now. "YOU did this YOU brought them here." I pointed viscously at him. "Tell me WHY you think that abandoning your place on the throne to galavant around this fucking city is at ALL taking responsibility for your actions."

He shrugged, "You can't deny I've been helping."

My mouth dropped open, "Whaaaa" stunned into a whisper by the casualness with which he talked about his lie.

"I'm not even from this fucking country," I put my face in my hands and sat on the floor.

There was a long pause.

"Tell me why you decided to involve me," I said wearily. I looked up with tears in my eyes. The truth always makes you cry. He did all of this knowing who he was. Knowing exactly what he did to put us in this mess. His country, his friends, and me.

He looked at me pleadingly. "Nothing about us has to change. Nothing about the way I feel about you is a lie—"

"Oh I'm sorry but everything else is." I cut in. "Your love for me isn't a lie but WHO YOU ARE is a lie, what you have done is a lie! How you even know how to contact Lieutenant Grave that's a fucking lie too!" Oop I had started yelling again.

Tell me tell me tell me tell me rang in my head. He couldn't.

I stopped short. He couldn't tell me because he still didn't think he had done anything wrong. Arguing with someone who is able to acknowledge wrongdoing is one thing. Arguing with someone whose core identity is attached to them being right and good is a losing battle — they cannot accept anything else. They would rather live in a different reality than accept the harm they have caused.

And that was it. That was the truth that was cutting my heart. I shook my head. "Come tell me when you're ready to be accountable for what you've done. Not to me but to your people."