DAY ONE

The aliens want me to keep a diary. For science, I'm guessing. Their translator isn't great, so it's hard to know what they want. So far the only nouns they seem to have access to are "human," "planet," and "cow." But they haven't hurt me yet, so, hooray? I mean they did take my cell phone away but I'm not going to say that's the same thing as pain. I will not be a "first world problems" alien abduction victim.

So, yeah, I've been abducted by aliens. I was in my backyard, and there was a lot of light, and suddenly I was floating into the sky, and then I got sucked into the bottom of a spaceship. It really was a flying saucer. So the movies got that much right.

It's cold in here. I'm wearing shorts; it was summer back home! Maybe if I keep rubbing my arms and complaining about it they'll get the picture.

DAY SEVEN

I'm not sure where the food is coming from. Did they use like a Star Trek replicator to make this hot dog, or did they steal it from Earth like they stole me? Now I'm imagining hot dogs floating into the sky, much to the bafflement of local dogs and hot dog vendors. I know what I'm eating is not what they're eating. The aliens eat bugs. Maybe I shouldn't just call them "the aliens." They call themselves Paxi when they're not using the translator. When they are using the translator, it's just "people." The one who brings me food and collects these diary entries calls itself (himself? herself? themself? Haven't figured out Paxi gender norms yet. I'll go with herself) Anyway, her name is Uzu. Or title. Or whatever. I say Uzu, she looks at me. Sometimes she talks to me. Sometimes I talk to her. God knows if we know what each other is saying but it's better than not talking to anyone.

I'm still not sure what they're looking for from these diary entries. So far I've written about how uncomfortable the ship is. Uzu brought me a blanket today. It's kinda scratchy but it's warm.

DAY THIRTEEN

I wonder what my family is doing. Do they think I ran away? They must have called the police. I mean I'm not a kid anymore exactly but Mom and Dad are still gonna worry. I don't just disappear like that. They must think I'm dead. The aliens took my cell phone. I wonder if I got it back, would I even have cell service up here? If it weren't for the window I wouldn't even know we were still in orbit above Earth. It's so quiet. Sometimes I just stare out the window. I never wanted to be an astronaut - I'm probably the only kid on Earth who never wanted to be an astronaut. Now I'm a space prisoner. Woohoo. It is pretty, though.

DAY TWENTY-ONE

Today Uzu took me for a walk. Turns out I'm not the only human on the ship. Turns out the little foggy panel in the door of my room is a one-way window, and there's all these other little rooms with people taking naps and eating hot dogs and writing. I tried to open one of the doors, but it was locked, and then Uzu pulled me away from it. She seemed worried about something. Not that I really know much about alien facial expressions. There's a lot of scales and no eyebrows and their mouths hardly move. But her eyes were darting around a whole bunch, all of them.

Also at one point another Paxi came up to talk to Uzu, and they weren't using their translators, but I guess I've been here long enough for it to start to make sense. You know how it is when you hear someone make a joke in another language and you don't really know what they're saying but you just know that it's funny? It was like that. But it wasn't funny, it was sad.

DAY TWENTY-THREE

Who's reading these, anyway? Is it just you, Uzu? Or do you give them to someone else?

I don't know what you want from me. I could tell you more stories about my dog. I gotta admit I'm really fricking bored. I wish I had a book. Is that why you're having me write these? Because you're bored, too? Do you not have books?

Could I have a book?

DAY TWENTY-FOUR

Uzu brought me a book. It's a beat-up copy of "Alice in Wonderland." I haven't read this since I was a kid. I wonder where she got it. I guess her English is getting pretty good. Uzu, have you read this book, or did you get it just for me? Either way, thank you. I don't know if you understand thank you when I say it out loud so I'll write it here, too. Thank you.

DAY THIRTY

Uzu took me on another walk today. This time when we got to the other people's doors, she opened one of them and let me go in. The guy about jumped a mile when he saw me. "There are people here???" His name is Robbie and he doesn't know how long he's been here. I only know how long I've been here because of the diary entries. But he isn't writing them. He kept saying, "How do we know what they'll do with it? We can't tell them anything!" I was like, "They haven't hurt us yet," and he was like, "How do we know that? They could be running all kinds of experiments on us!" And I was like "what kind of experiment involves eating hot dogs and reading Alice in Wonderland" and then he started going on and on about how I must be an alien disguised as a human here to mess with his head. I think he's messing with his own head. Uzu was really quiet afterwards. I told her sometimes people just like to believe the worst. And she asked me something, but the translator didn't have the right words for it so it took a few tries for me to guess at it. She wanted to know why I didn't believe the worst. I honestly don't know why. So I just said, it's easier. Because it is. For me, at least. It's easier to think that Uzu is my friend, even if I'm a prisoner here. Maybe that's stupid. But I'm happier with my Alice in Wonderland and my view of Earth than that Robbie guy will ever be.

I do wish I could call my parents, though. They need to know I'm alive.

DAY THIRTY-FIVE

I guess I don't need to write these anymore. No one's coming to pick them up. But it's a habit.

Uzu set me free today. The Paxi set all of us free. I saw another Paxi walking Robbie along. He was just shouting the whole time, teaching the translators all kinds of nasty words. But they took us all to the center of the ship and one by one put us back in the tractor beam thing. I kept thinking, watching everyone go before me, it was like falling down the rabbit hole. Or going back up the rabbit hole, I guess. Does up or down matter in space?

I was holding the book. I'd been reading it when Uzu came for me. And I gave it to her. I don't know why. She never smiles, none of them do, their mouths don't do that. But I think she was happy.

I landed in my backyard again. And I just sat on the porch looking at the sky, trying to figure out which star was the ship, and then my parents came out and of course they were freaking out and of course there was nothing I could say to them but "I was abducted by aliens, I know you won't believe me," while we all cried. Finally they were like "we'll talk about this in the morning" but I have no idea what we're going to say then. It's not like I'll be able to explain why any of this happened.

Maybe I'll never see the Paxi again. Maybe Robbie was right and somehow I gave them information that will doom the human race, or it will turn out they implanted us with their eggs or something, I don't know. But right now, lying here on my bed, I want to see Uzu again. And talk to her. Maybe they'll get the translators working so well we'll actually understand each other. Or maybe not. But I'd like to see her again.