I was not too sure what I was expecting when my bedroom floor opened up and suddenly the God of the Underworld and Cerberus burst forth. It was startling, for sure, but it was also quite amusing and there were moments where I had to stifle my laughter. There, Hades sitting on my Totoro beanie on the floor, and Cerberus painfully squashed, using a free paw to play lightly with my ball which I had received from my dad since I was three. I am going to kill that mutt if he pierces it, I had thought at that time.

"You must come for an afternoon tea with me," Hades had finally requested after a long moan about Persephone being gone because of his mother-in-law and a speech slagging off his other relatives - to apparently support my Greek Mythology thesis that I was working on until Hades came.

An afternoon tea with the God of the Underworld? Surely, he must be jesting - he was known not to be keen on ‘guests’ from the above after all. “Eh,” Hades just shrugged, “things changed and I needed the company. Now, tell me more how I punished Pirithous.”

And I did not have the time. This thesis needed completing, for starters. Then, I needed to do my laundry at some point. Not to mention, my two-hour lecture would start in a couple of hours. I also have to meet my friend and his boyfriend this afternoon, I had thought as well even though I would ultimately find an excuse not to meet them. I had too much failed dates from Tinder and Bumble to be in the mood for their mushiness. The last one had almost been a fairytale come true if it weren’t for the cheating which I had found out just before I suggest we go official.

"Sure," I had finally said and was not immediately not amused when he said that he would see me in an hour - it was around eleven o'clock then and I had a good lunch planned. Also, midday was not an afternoon tea. I would refute but there must be some vague rule about arguing with a god so I just nodded in a hopefully not an annoyed way.

"Excellent!" said Hades, clapping his hands together in excitement. “We shall have a feast! Charon would come and collect you!’

And that was when I was startled the second time when a bony man in drab robes burst through my wardrobe on his rickety boat. How was that possible, I would never know - gods seemed to have their ways. “Before our journey,” Charon started, “there is a matter of payment.”

I had raised my eyebrows and commented, “put it on Hades’ tab.”

In response, Charon just shrugged and invited me over onto the boat. The journey across River Styx was actually not as damp and dark as I had imagined. In fact, the moment the boat left my wardrobe I had my mouth open in astonishment immediately. Bright multi-coloured lights lit up the cavern walls, illuminating the clear waters below and the ghostly fishes gently swimming alongside us. As we tread the waters further, the illuminations became different with candles floating above and chiming music everywhere. “Queen Persephone took a liking to these ‘Christmas trails’ so she basically ordered her husband to install these,” Charon explained, “Of course, we have to omit the other G-word in these kind of music. Blasphemy is terrible for business.”

“I had thought the whole place would be miserable,” I confessed to Charon.

Charon balked at that. "The underworld is actually not that bad now! We even have a Chinese buffet somewhere in the underworld now!"

At the end of the journey across the River Styx, I flinched as the fanfare blared into my ears. Hades stood by the port, arms outstretched and beaming wide. I did not even get a chance to receive the embrace as two strong arms enveloped me. "Welcome to the underworld!" Hades said as he shooed Charon away, unnoticing that the other was slightly peeved that he would return empty of payment. I should have told Hades that he owed payment to Charon.

As with River Styx, Hades' place was not as I expected either. For starters, there were plants everywhere - a little woodland pockets full of silver birches and meadows full of wildflowers. A crystal clear stream ran between lush fields and into River Styx. I could hear birds singing and saw deer prancing beyond the low hills - being chased by a rather playful Cerberus. Just a few yards in front of us, a small table with a couple of dining chairs stood. On top of the table were two three-tier stands full of scones, fruit jam, clotted cream, little finger sandwiches, and delicate patisserie on top. My stomach grumbled.

Where the hell am I?

"Persephone made a few...changes," Hades answered my thought. "Brightened the place up, doesn't it?"

By the time Hades had ushered me to the afternoon tea table, I was still in a trance.