WRITING OBSTACLE

Submitted by Maranda Quinn

Show a powerful emotion – love, grief, rage - in a quiet, everyday moment.

Instead of writing a dramatic and drawn out scene, think about how subtle actions and sensory details can carry the weight of the feeling.

The Last Straw

With a huff of exhaustion, Marie set the shopping bags down on the counter. The paper crinkled, and she silently thanked her good fortune that they hadn't ripped on the way back from the store. After taking a deep breath and enjoying the smell of the fresh vegetables, she slipped off her shoes and put them on the mat, then hung her coat on the rack and the key on the board next to the door.

"I'm back," she called into the flat.

There was no response, but Marie knew that Adam was home. She could hear voices from the other room, and his shoes and coat were in the corner, carelessly tossed aside after their wearer had taken them off. Sighing, she picked them up and put them in their places before making her way to the living room.

The room was warm, dark and stuffy. Adam was there, on the couch. There was a vacant look in his eyes as he sat there, staring at the TV as it played sports or news or whatever- Marie wasn't sure he really cared.

"I'm back," she repeated, and he grunted in response. His eyes didn't leave the screen.

Marie smiled and walked over to him.

"How was work, honey?" she asked. "You seemed so exhausted earlier, so I didn't want to ask then. Did you have a good day?"

"It was alright," he grumbled, picking up the remote and switching the channel. "You get the mushrooms?"

She steeled herself, and the smile remained on her lips.

"Of course I did. Got the last bag, just for you. I got onions and fresh garlic, too. Would you like mushroom soup for dinner?"

Adam nodded.

"Yeah, that's good," he said. Then, a couple seconds later, he added, "Thanks."

Marie relaxed, her smile becoming a bit easier.

"You're welcome, honey. Now, just relax. I'm sure you had a rough day at work."

She contemplated brushing her hand through his hair, but decided against it. Despite his relatively good mood, he still seemed quite tense, and she didn't want to risk ruining the evening.

With a soft sigh, Marie turned and walked back to the kitchen. She left the onions, mushrooms, garlic and cream on the counter for later and put the other things away- the chicken in the freezer, the apples in the basket, the noodles in the cupboard, and the milk in the-

She briefly froze when she opened the fridge. Something was wrong, and it only took her a moment to figure out what it was.

"Honey? Do you know what happened to the mango drink in the fridge?" she called out.

No response.

"Honey?" she said again, louder.

"What?" Adam groaned, eyes still fixed on the screen.

"Did you see my mango drink? It was in the fridge, right next to the strawberry jam."

A pause.

"The one in the small orange plastic cup."

"Oh, that one. Uh, yeah, I drank that."

Marie was speechless.

"I was saving that, honey. It's my favorite."

"I didn't know that."

"My name was on the cup."

"It was? I didn't see it."

"I wrote it on the top in black marker."

Adam just shrugged and then slumped right back on the couch. His eyes hadn't left the screen the whole time.

Marie just stood there for a moment, biting her lower lip, staring at him from the kitchen. He looked so cold on that couch, so tired, so lifeless, the TV's lights flickering on his unmoving face. It looked like he hadn't shaved in a couple days, and his shirt was old and dirty as well. If she was lucky, he'd notice it sometime today and toss it in the basket for her to put in the washer the next morning- provided he didn't just fall asleep on the couch again.

After a while, Marie started moving again, though her mind was blank; she didn't even notice that her lip was bleeding where she'd bitten it. She took the mushrooms, the garlic, the onions and the cream and tossed them in the trash under the sink. She grabbed her bag, her keys, her jacket and her shoes.

When she opened the door, she hesitated- no, she waited. Waited to see if Adam would notice the sound, if he'd get up off the couch and ask where she was going, if he'd come and see the tears on her cheeks and the bags under her eyes, if he'd see how her fists were clenching and gently put his hands on them, if he'd take her in his arms like he used to, if he'd hold her tight and kiss her forehead the way he'd once known she loved...

The only sound in the flat was the cheering of a crowd on TV.

It seemed that football was on.

Marie slammed the door behind her.

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