a few months ago

I wished for love

but then I let go.

and just wished for a dove.

she was real kind.

and she was sweet.

she was kind?

sweet?

what do those words mean?

there she lays, foreseen.

as I wish I could be.

but she, is not me.

how lucky she may be.

there I sit, again waiting for love.

I haven't found it, why?

I search, but find hate.

why?

why must I always find the opposite?

do they benefit? from shielding the world from me?

I can love, I know I can.

plan, I plan a way to find love.

but I fail, not yet, not yet do I succeed.

but I will, just not yet.

yet.

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(not part of the poem, but my analysis of my very messy poem down below if you do not understand)

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Theme

**Central Idea:** The poem explores the speaker's longing for love and the emotional turmoil that comes with it. The speaker reflects on past desires, the pain of unfulfilled wishes, and an ongoing struggle to connect with love.

**Subject Matter:** The poem conveys feelings of loneliness and confusion in the search for love, contrasting the idealized notion of love with the harsh reality of rejection, hate, and self-doubt. The imagery of a dove symbolizes peace and hope, while the speaker's introspection reveals a profound sense of inadequacy and desire.

### Language

**Word Choice:** The language is simple yet evocative, using everyday vocabulary to convey deep emotional experiences. Words like "kind," "sweet," and "lucky" are juxtaposed with "hate," emphasizing the contrast between the speaker's desires and reality.

**Literary Devices:**

- **Repetition:** The use of "yet" at the end of the poem emphasizes the ongoing struggle and the hope for future success.

- **Rhetorical Questions:** Questions such as "what do those words mean?" and "why must I always find the opposite?" illustrate the speaker's internal confusion and frustration.

- **Imagery:** The dove symbolizes peace and love, while phrases like "shielding the world from me" evoke feelings of isolation.

- **Contrast:** The juxtaposition of love and hate highlights the speaker's emotional conflict.

### Sound and Rhythm

**Syllabic Patterns and Stresses:** The poem does not adhere to a strict syllabic pattern, but it maintains a conversational rhythm. The use of enjambment (where a sentence or phrase runs over from one line to the next) contributes to the flow and reflects the speaker's ongoing thoughts.

**Stresses:** There is a mix of stressed and unstressed syllables that gives the poem a natural, spoken quality. The varying line lengths create a sense of urgency in the speaker's voice.

### Structure

**Framework:**

- **Stanzas:** The poem is composed of several stanzas, each containing varying line lengths.

- **Line Breaks:** The line breaks contribute to the poem's pacing and emotional weight, allowing readers to pause and reflect on key phrases.

- **Rhyme Patterns:** The poem has an irregular rhyme scheme, with some lines rhyming and others not, which enhances the feeling of unpredictability in the speaker's emotional journey.

- **Punctuation and Pauses:** The use of punctuation creates pauses that emphasize the speaker's contemplative nature and the weight of their thoughts.

### Context

**Who:** The speaker appears to be an introspective individual grappling with feelings of loneliness and a desire for love.

**What:** The poem captures the speaker's emotional state and their quest for love while reflecting on their experiences of rejection and self-doubt.

**Where:** The setting is abstract, as it focuses more on the speaker's internal world rather than a specific physical location.

**When:** The poem seems to be set in the present, with reflections on past experiences and aspirations for the future.

**Why:** The poem serves as an exploration of the complexities of love and the emotional struggles that accompany the search for connection, ultimately expressing hope for the future despite current challenges.