“Welcome Home, daughter.” The familiar, motherly voice echoes through the ship. Her voice is soft and sincere, clashing with the cold interior of the battleship. Despite her gentle tone, every word she says fills my entire being with dread. “Hello mom.” I mutter, pushing my way through the doubt of my plan. “Have you grown tired of those silly creatures?” Her voice begins to sound more mechanical now. I almost forgot she’s all wires. “They’re not silly.” Mother laughs. I mustn’t let her get the best of me. I have a mission to finish. I make my way through the corridors full of wiring, metal railing, and the corpses of my siblings. Their implants burnt and twisted, their silver add-ons mangled into a metal puddle. Had a human come here they wouldn’t even recognize them as once living beings. Mother keeps them here as a reminder as a cautionary tale of what happens when emotion gets in the way of things. I step over their mechanical, fleshy bodies, entering into the center control room. Mother’s voice floods the room from each side. “I’d be careful if I were you.” “One more step and your planet gets wiped of all life.” I pause. Balling my hands into fists. “You wouldn’t do that.” I scan the room with my eyes. She could do it if she wanted to, though. All it would take to demolish an entire planet would be a simple command. The two computers required to shut her system down are only feet away. “If I have to daughter I will.” She says, “they’re lives a small price to pay to keep our family together.” I don’t bother fighting off my tears. I want to show her I can feel. I want to show her I’m nothing like her. I’ve never come this close before to freedom before. Even on earth she spoke to me through my implants, I yearn to be alone in my own head. “You see what those humans have done to you? You were never meant to feel pain.” “Pain isn’t a weakness.” I say. I hear no answer. Suddenly, the sound of many feet marching toward the control room echoes through the ship. I begin to panic, my brothers and sisters are coming for me. They’re coming to take my soul away again. In a split second decision, I start toward the two computers. I begin deconstructing her program, each line of code mechanically separating her entire being. It hurts to do so even after all she’s done. She’s my mother and I can’t help but loving her. “If you do this they will die!” She croaks. “I don’t believe you.” I keep typing. “Isn’t murder frowned upon by humans?” I know she’s trying to distract me. Even with that knowledge it doesn’t make it any easier. “I guess I’’ll never be fully human.” I’m getting closer to the destruction screen now, but my siblings are getting closer to me too. I can hear them rounding the hall. They were human once. Once the screen comes up I hesitate. My finger hovers over the key as I await her last words. “I am connected to all my children. If you destroy me, your brothers and sisters will die as well.” Her words contort and echo strangly. She sounds neither woman nor man, neither human nor computer. My siblings have reached the doorway now, maybe six feet from me. “They’re all already dead.” Tears roll down my cheeks. I close my eyes before my finger comes slamming down on the key. The computers spark and a booming sound like two boulders clashing against each other fills my eardrums. I turn to see my brothers and sisters but they are on the floor, writhing and seizing while their metal insides twist and melt and spill through their mouths. I clutch stomach, unable to breath or move. “I’m so sorry.” I sob, “I’m so sorry.” I stare out the small circular window where earth sits in peace. My mother’s last and only act of compassion was letting them live. I won’t forget that.

Thanks for reading! ❤️ Constructive criticism appreciated!

⚠️ TW: Abuse ⚠️

Delusions of a glance of freedom teases in my ear. In my bed I ponder the consequences, would they be worth it? I ache with each craving, they come in waves; Each one worse then the next. I pick myself up from the bed, unknowing of my next direction. Outside my bedroom window, something begs for my attention. A small lake, hidden by the trees, only viewed from this wing of the castle. I find myself putting on my boots and coat, rushing through the halls like a child. The cold air seeping through the broken windows sparks a certain feeling. My bones feel alive again, I haven’t felt this way in years. I see the doorway, it feels too good to be true. I reach for the door handle, only to be knocked down onto the ground from the iron door swinging open. Before me my brother’s ice cold stare watches from the doorway. In one quick motion, he pulls off his belt. “I told you what would happen if you disobeyed me.” And I’d do it all over again for that one second of freedom.

A little birdy told me, You made wings from my falls, You made claws from my strength, You made feathers from my beauty, You made eyes from my wisdom, A little birdy told me, You’re a glutton for everything but food, You binge on what’s little left, I hope you’re belly is full, I hope you’re doing well, I hope your lies are finished, But in the end, I know the truth, You’ll never be done, You’ll never be satisfied, A little birdy told me, You used to be a songbird, Now you’re a raven, Your beak brimming to the top with venom, I wonder how much you’ve gained, Stealing from others, I hope one day your feathers decay, I hope one day your outside matches your inside, I hope your ambitions rot, I hope your confidence flees, I hope your you stuff yourself too full to move, Then again, That’s not up to me, Because that’s where we differ, I’d never do what you did, A little birdy told me, You tried to kill it once, I wonder how it feels, Now that people know your lies, I wonder if it makes you angry, I wonder if it makes you shameful, I wonder if it makes you afraid, I wonder if you feel at all, A little birdy told me, Your lies were complete, Goodbye my little raven, May we never meet again,

In the hall of which my mother gave to me, a cold, metal seat sits firmly at the end of the room. Many people feel a sense of pride upon seeing the chair, and yet I don’t know why. I’ve seen mothers cry, fathers bow, children take vows of silence, and I’ve seen seen my family stare in awe at this seat. Countless times I’ve been reminded of the influence and sheer force held within even the floor it sits on. What’s so special about it, then? What makes villagers docile at the sight of it? What makes servants hide their faces or vicious men gain all control? I possess the ability to sit upon the big chair when I’m older. And yet, all I can think about is how many people will be afraid of me when I do.

When I look at you I bloom, Crimson thoughts dressed up in child’s play, sweet or bitter, I taste cherry when I look at you. I relish in it it all day and night, savoring every thought til I’m subdued by your imaginary prescience. I ache all over when your floral aroma goes away, my heart throbbing at the sight of your cherry lips. Time flies all too fast when you’re around, I hope we can bud into something different.

Janitor Franks still keeps the door unlocked at nights, understandably since he’s nearly in his nineties now. The door makes an insidious echo when it opens, a sound I’ve gladly avoided all these years. Inside, the halls smell of cleaning solution almost knocks me out, the walls still consumed with school propaganda. They put you in this place for four years, maybe even longer if you’re especially stupid, and expect you to come out just fine. All too familiar footsteps push me into the nearest unlocked room, I think I took math in this room. I use my phone flashlight to illuminate the dozens of posters staring back at me, ranging from suicide prevention to essentially “learning is fun” ideologies. I wonder about my friends, the ones I prided myself on handpicking you be my family, the same family I let slip out of my hands. I look around this room and I see pain, kids sit here everyday to be told it’s their “life” and their “everything” then have to leave it all behind. One summer I thought it would be fun to sneak back here in the dead of night, no reason in particular other then to see what the place was like without everybody. When I did, I learned a beast lived inside. I saw it’s eyes, eyes so mighty and powerful I wanted to cry, its breath hot. No one believed me. I nearly went insane trying to prove I didn’t imagine it, I lost friends and my reputation, but I didn’t care. I nearly talked myself out of it, but the nightmares wouldn’t let me. Those footsteps weren’t of a man, only a beast could have such a body to rumble the ground with its movements. I open the door, the room frozen in a state I remember well, as if nothing has ever changed. I squeeze my eyes shut, none of this feels real. I open them again, standing two feet away from the monster’s face. “What are you?” I sobbed into my hands, no this time I was certain it was real. It’s eyes moved on its side, huffing and sighing as it laid onto the ground. My body trembling, I close my eyes again. This time when I open them the monster is gone. I sit on the floor, crying with the sunrise as students begin walking to school. Rod Sterling walks on set “Today my friends we learned about a man, so obsessed with his past he made up something for himself to hang onto for twenty years. A monster as the beast of change, who tormented him too his breaking point. All this, in the twilight zone”

lol

The first thing I saw was her eyes, hills and valleys hidden under her pupil’s reflections, genuine joy behind her smile. Her hair and skin and body soft and smooth. Her stature no different from statues and carvings of any other beautiful woman. Still, she was different from anyone I’ve ever seen. She was my antidote, my cure. What I didn’t see was the bags under her eyes, the bones protruding from her chest, her hips and her shoulders. Her eyes were consumed, soul lusting for terrible things. In her eyes I saw a reflection of my own strengths, blinding me to what was behind them. I looked for what I wanted. I looked for what I lacked. She crippled me, stole my pride, my strength and my armor. She bit into me with her fangs and worst of all I let it happen. She was full of poisons. I thought I could steal her confidence but instead she stole my life.