It wasn’t the words. It didn’t take words as we both watched the sky lighten, the dawn coming upon us like a sordid reminder of the end. He lit my gift cigarette with a care I hadn’t felt since another, one who had said the words too easily.

No this man, he was silent- all jokes and playful teasing. And as our cigarettes slowly breathed to butts I enjoyed the early morning birds singing. He had ...

I saw a pretty face

That convinced me

There would be more

Another story

He dressed so well

So my type

He was quite mysterious

His hands were nice

Oh he was in a band

He was lead singer

Then after a month

My light bringer

I couldn’t help but fall

For such an awkward smirk

He was quite cool

With a drink full of mirth

What a pretty face

Was his dad that handsome

He had to be for ...

It started with family

It began with friends

Born was a cycle

That will never end

Too hurt to cry

Body be numb

How else will they love

Unless I am dumb

Be blonde and brunette

600 calories a day

Maybe if I was skinny

They would like me more that way

Kiss too many to count

Let so many in

Make my lock easy to pick

Easily stabbed like a pin

Claw without a scratch

Draw blood but do...

Just one drink

It couldn’t hurt

Two drinks in

That’s not the worst

Three drinks in

I didn’t feel it

Four drinks in

The room’s spinning

Five drinks in

I start to cry

Six drinks in

The pain won’t bite

Seven drinks in

I hear the music

Eight drinks it

I start to lose it

Nine drinks in

Knocks on the door

Ten drinks in

Stuck to the floor

Eleven drinks in

He starts to worry...

You’ve caused me so much pain,

Yet the I love I feel for you blinds me of it!

I don’t think I will ever be the same,

A touch I’ll never feel, but will be missed.

Is there no one else I can blame?

Are we both at fault for me feeling this?

You kept your heart so tame,

How can I hurt from my heart’s bliss?

I have one picture- for it I have a frame,

I’ll see your face, remember that kiss?

...

“Hand it over, now!”

“What does this achieve?”

“A life of living”

“A life where you leave”

“So what if I leave?

Why do you care?”

“I care about you”

“Something I do not share”

“We’ve never been liars”

“We lie to ourselves”

“Better than hating”

“Hatred is our wealth”

“I will not hand it over”

“What does this prove?”

“That we can still fight”

“We always fight to lose”

“But that ca...

I cannot see the carpet,

All I see is the ceiling,

Do I even recall,

This room is like teething.

Uncomfortable and cramped,

Growing pains in their hinges,

Doors do creak softly,

Foot sticky, face cringes.

Eyes wince at big lights,

Musty, dusty and dark,

A reflection of my mind,

If I can’t cry, I’ll laugh.

Food packets are crumpled,

The bin overflowing,

Cups of coffee be stale,

So fatal t...

Lump in my throat,

Why do you form?

Is it a new necklace?

Anxiety to adorn.

Palms that sweat,

Why do you cry?

Sticky and contagious,

Fingers are tight.

I cannot speak,

Voice, where are you?

Words to spell out,

Stories ran through.

I am a failure,

Body be calm,

This is only a test,

No need for alarm.

But I will fail,

Family counts on me,

Mother, brother,

Is this what you need?

“All...

pull me from flames

oh precious soldier

destroy all evidence

of what i did to her

watch my sick smile

and know you did it too

that this crime is gone

hidden by me and you

let me continue

make my soul eternal

let sin wash away

in heat infernal

now i can carry on

and you can carry weight

you may despise me

it’ll be yourself to hate...

It is too far gone?

But not gone enough

Is there an expectancy?

A measurement of love?

Is it wrong? I ask

When hairs stand on end?

Not for a lover or stranger

But a kindness, a friend?

I mean I fell with a look

Dusted with powder blue eyes

They glanced over me

For once I was alive

It must be in my head

Or I will just suffer

For I can only be a companion

Not your heart beat or lover...