We said We would never let go That this love Was worth every tear Every misunderstanding Every hurt
And maybe it was
But how can you stand If you depend on me to pull you up? How can I dream If I rely on you to be there too? How can we live If we don’t keep our own hearts?
I’m here for you But I’m not yours.
I’ve been here before. But it didn’t happen like that.
When she kissed me I felt her wet tongue on my lips and I drew back, surprised and feeling silly. “I’ve never done this before,” I say, my words all breath and excitement, before diving back forwards and opening my mouth to hers. She tastes unlike what I could have imagined— warmth and sweetness. But mostly I notice the textures; her teeth clinking against mine, her soft lips pressing against mine, her tongue tasting mine. I open my eyes and she is staring right at me. And I laugh a little and stare right back.
We broke up two days ago. We didn’t last long, but I think our love will last forever.
She promised To love me Forever
This is what Forever Looks like
Ashy bones Trodden clothes Flowers decaying
This is what Forever Sounds like
Wind whistling Through hollow hearts Endlessly
This is what Forever Tastes like
Lips gone rotten Slug slime on teeth Foul dirt on tongue
This is what Forever Smells like
Cold earthy silt Dried grass Fresh blood
This is what Forever Feel like
Our love Wasting Away
I see the devil. I see him in my smile. In my eyes. In my shoulders. I see the gears turning wickedly in his head. I see his hands itching to sin. I see his feet stomping over hearts. I see his teeth poised to gnash. I see his tongue thirty for pain. I see his cruelty. I see me.
The shutters won’t shut The blinds won’t budge The curtains are cut The screen is stuck The shade is sheer The glass is gone The window is open I can see right out I can try not to look But the wind blows through The smell of the trees And the earth is strong And the rain will come in It will flood from my eyes And somehow I will Realize That you also look in Paralyzed
“It’s just fireflies,” Allen says. “I think it’s flashlights,” says Sidney. “Are you sure? It looks more like candles to me.” I say. “Why would there be candles in the middle of the woods?” Allen asks. I shrug. “Should we go see what it is?” Sidney and Allen share a look. “No.” “Come on,” I say. “All the grass is dry over here. There might be something nice to eat over there.” They sigh and frown. But they nod and we follow the lights. The wind is picking up as the sky darkens. The sun set half an hour ago, and its butter yellow glow is almost gone from the horizon. And soon the lights seem within reach. They’re growing larger and larger, brighter and brighter. Headlights.
Don’t sit at the pier. Just trust me. Yeah, it’s safe. But it’s haunted. And if you don’t believe in ghosts, that’s fine. But if you believe in love, that’s where they get you. They have skin as pale as moonlight. Their hair ripples in glossy black waves. Their eyes are milky pearls, their lips blue and cold against yours, until they start warming and you feel their breath in your throat. But by the time you realize it’s your breath that they are sucking out of you, you’re already off the pier and into the icy embrace of the lake.
He blows his nose. And yeah, sure, I don’t have anything against blowing noses in general. But like, excuse me. Can you not blow your nose in my direction? Can you be farther than six inches away from me? I tilt my face towards the window. God, I wish I got aisle. He stuffs the hard tissue in the pocket of the seat in front of him. And then he pulls out another tissue. “This is gonna be a long flight,” I think to myself.
