I’ve got this song I just can’t get out of my head I’ve got this song I just can’t seem to forget It goes this way And it goes that way Here’s how it goes:

O say, can you see, By the dawn’s early light What so proudly we hailed At the twilight’s last gleaming? Whose broad stripes and bright stars, Through he perilous fight…

YES I HAVE THE NATIONAL ANTHEM STUCK IN MY HEAD. YES. THE STAR SPANGLED BANNER. HELP.

I miss it.

The parties, the gala, the recognition. I miss the taste of champagne on my tongue and the smell of fresh money from the ATM. I miss people scrambling to make me happy and getting favors whenever I wished.

They say “Rome didn’t fall in a day.”

But I think it sure did. My Rome, my life, collapsed and crumpled up into a shriveled mess of flesh and bone, in less than a day.

Those days of the past, are long, long gone.

I miss it.

But it’s gone.

silence is boring peace is a bore quiet is strange I want something more

I turn on pain sensors to experience the world in its entirety

stepping on a sharp twig a small mosquito bite tripping up the staircase accidentally biting my tongue

pain is terrible pain is cruel pain is undesirable

prying open my chest tearing out my heart performing experiments stitching it back up

pain is sad pain is anguish pain is anger

pain is human.

tattered tennis shoes that were once once gray once. no scrubbing can fix it pre-tied shoelaces worn and worn and worn but still wearing

I write one sentence. And I write another. I smile at you. And I smile back. __ I make half a heart. And I make the other. I steal glances. And I take them openly. I write the prologue. And I make the epilogue.

the best lover for a writer is just another writer

You got attachment issues, They tell me. Gotta learn to let go, They say.

I got the issues, but who gave them to me? It was contagious, and I became sick.

How do I let go, when I hold on so tight? My knuckles are bruised and pale.

I didn’t even notice you were gone til you left Didn’t see you abandon me til you did

I was a fool, am a fool

I tried to chase you and hold onto what was left But there was nothing left

My fingers went right through, like you were just air Almost like you had disappeared

imissyouimissyouimissyouimissyou

I ran and ran until my legs burned like they were on fire I sprinted until I was met with a dead end I shouted until my voice was muffled I cried until my tears dried up

I miss you.

I miss you.

But then all of a sudden, I finally realized

I am you.

lay down on the frosty ground let blades of grass slide past your fingertips the moon beaming down it’s cold gaze

but don’t.

don’t you dare let your eyes fall shut.

don’t you dare slip away.

for if you do, nothing but darkness awaits and nothing good comes out of the dark

the long, clawed hand that will reach out grab onto your ankles pull you down to the depths of hell and keep you there

struggle and thrash and turn and scream it’s no use, no one will hear no one ever does lungs heaving until collapse salty seawater forced down your throat it’s like drowning, but in the night the water is fear, seeping in through the gaps the bubbles is joy, disappearing, one by one

falling falling slipping slipping dying drowning crying leaving

so this is why don’t get too curious of the mysteries of the night of the monsters in the dark

days and weeks and months flew by grazing past my ear like a dodgeball in PE the storm came quick but left just as quickly the howling winds turned into silence I didn’t know it would come but i didn’t expect it to leave it left a patch of destruction one that we were left to mend we paved the roads and fixed the houses as the storm proceeded to the next town it’s no longer with me, so whoever meets it next:

good luck.

imagine if you could see

what someone was feeling

what someone has felt.

turn towards your left, and there’s someone who’s blue a tangled mess of sapphire webs and you would know:

that is sadness.

turn towards your right, and there’s someone who’s green a chaotic collage of emerald shards and you would know:

that is envy.

glance behind you, and there’s someone who’s yellow a jumbling, wiggling, group of citrine and you would know:

that is anxiety.

look ahead of you, and there’s someone who’s red a mix and match of rubies and painite and you would know:

that is anger. bitterness. resentment.

but turn in a circle and then you will see that not all colors stay the same.

whip back and forth and then you will see that blue turns to green and red fades to yellow.

but imagine if you can see

what someone was feeling.

have you ever wondered

where do broken hearts go? after they’ve been dropped and crushed?

where do broken hearts go? when there’s nowhere to go?

where do broken hearts go? when the pieces are too small?

where do they go? where do they go?

do they go to the land of broken hearts?

or does an old witch keep them in a jar?

is it eaten as a dragon’s breakfast?

or perhaps stolen by an elf?

well here’s the answer to your question

where do broken hearts go?

it’s me, i’m the collector of broken hearts

it’s me, who remains forgotten

it’s me, yesterday, today, tomorrow

i take a needle and some thread and mend them back together

with hugs and head pats and smiles and laughter

and if the broken heart is missing a piece

i take out some of mine and fit it in perfectly

again

and again

until there’s nothing left.