I am an ardent fan of my favourite pastime, which is shouting at the wireless. I have mostly my own teeth and can still get myself to the bathroom without too many accidents. I prefer my wine both copious and red.
I am an ardent fan of my favourite pastime, which is shouting at the wireless. I have mostly my own teeth and can still get myself to the bathroom without too many accidents. I prefer my wine both copious and red.
It is a truth, universally acknowledged, that the moment you utter the immortal words, “Oh, it’s nothing to worry about,” that particular nothing immediately becomes a something. The city of Ankl-Morswine was no stranger to somethings to worry about, especially somethings replete with far too many legs and an alarming overbite containing too many teeth.
So it was, when Sergeant Fred Colon of the ...
Two men sat next a roaring fire in the shadow of a vanished woodland, where gnarled trees snagged at the thin moonlight. Although bound together by a terrible secret few people would wish to fathom, Silas and Bram had always been wanderers. They were cannibals. Cannibals by choice, rather than driven by hunger or desperation. Their common taste for human flesh was a desire as strong as it was ugly...
Yo, caught up in the grind, reaching for the sky,
Eyes on the moon while the days drift by.
Chasin’ after dreams, yeah, I’m aiming high,
But the flowers at my feet, they’re just wanna to say hi.
Life moves quick, gotta check that view,
While I’m plotting on them stars, there’s a world to pursue.
Roots in the ground, they’re holding me true,
Don’t let that chase blind you from the beauty in the de...
I rejoined the land of the living. I don’t know how long I was unconscious, but I kept my head down and my eyes shut and allowed myself exactly thirty seconds of wallowing. Thirty seconds to curse my luck, Finn’s absence, and the universe in general. Then I took a deep breath, steadied myself, and started thinking. I was sitting in a chair. My hands weren’t tied. My neck and head hurt like hell fr...
These humble socks, my daily shield,
Of tender soles, your warmth revealed.
In cotton, wool, or silken thread,
You guard my path where footsteps tread.
In winter’s chill or summer’s sun,
Such faithful duty, never undone.
A cozy hug for gammy toes,
A pillow ‘gainst the biting snows.
Unseen heroes of every day,
You bear my load in work or play.
Beneath my boots or crap plimsolls,
You march with me...
Elliot Brand didn’t hate Christmas. That would’ve required too much emotional investment. Rather, Elliot saw it as a glitter-drenched marketing bonanza. As the CEO of Streamline, a company built on ‘optimising’ human effort, he considered anything not measurable a waste. “If you can’t measure it, don’t do it,” was his favourite saying.
Christmas Eve found Elliot in his penthouse. Floor-to-ceilin...