‘I’ll love you forever you know..’

I looked at you but said nothing. You see, when you say you’ll love me forever I know it’s not something you’re just saying, it’s the truth. But something that should warm me has instead become something that consumes me with guilt. As I lay here barely able to summon a smile, I am reminded that I can never offer you the same. You envy me for so many reasons, and yet on this I employ you to see how short I fall. I am weaker, I am veins and flesh. Every sluggish beat of my heart a punch to the chest reminding me of my mortality. Reminding me that I won’t be here to protect you, or convince people not to be afraid of you. To say I will love you from the other side seems a worthless thing to say, a measly offering when I’m about to leave you. That is the only forever I can give you.

‘Say it back silly!’ Demanded Ben jokingly.

I close my eyes And rest my head Windows open Garden fed

My arms are restless Legs are too But when the sun sleeps So must you

But she calls my name On the wind I smell her freshness Her kindest things

My neediest love Ill be back in the morning My happy place is you My garden, my fawning