The universe will never give you peace in something you were never meant to settle in. I sat on the edge of the porch cigarette in between my two fingers and I stared at the field infront of me. I wasnt hungry was all I could think of. Mason words ringed in my head “your fucking skin and bones! you gonna kill yourself! are you fucking dumb!?” was all I heard when I wouldn’t eat my food. Black hair I dyed too many times to forget what I actually look like, black eyes that loses all its light, pale skin that hasnt seen the sun in days and I prefer it that way, and Im wearing pjs that I been wearing for the last few days. Mason screamed and screamed not to smoke, not to eat, eat more, and dont cry. I sat still my whole life well everything happened to me, Im 20 and I never stood up for myself too scared to actually do anything. I was nothing but my body or my looks, my personality wasnt anything special since I didnt have one of my own. My father left, my mother died, and Mason, my boyfriend, took me in when I needed it. I sat still while he raped me, while he laid his hands on me, well he forced fed me, yelled at me, I sat still when my dad beat me, when my mom burned me, and when they bullied me. I sat still, I always sat still too scared to make a move so I wouldnt tigger anyone anymore. I hated everything and everyone, I wanted to leave this cruel world. The cuts on my thighs burn along everything else in my body but I couldn’t move. I sat still. I put the cigarette out in the porch and went inside, Mason was yelling at me and I sat still. Skin against skin, a burning sensation, and my head turned more then it was before. He slapped me, I finally moved, I couldnt sit still anymore. I stood up and ran for the door, opening it, and running. Mason chased after me I heard his panting as he tired to catch up, my lungs burned but I kept going I didnt want to stop. I was tired of sitting still and I couldnt sit still anymore. I finally got away starting over in a new city. I ate again, stood my grounds, and never beaten again as I found people who actually cared for me and I discovered my personality again.

Blue hair, blue eyes, tan skin, thats what I see as I stare in the mirror , the tear stains that have ruined my makeup is what I keep staring at and all I think is that im a mess. Amelia Nate, I’m 17. I love cats and dogs, painting, books, and baking. I hate sports, cars, and Jake Jacobs for all he’s done. I seat down at his desk and grabbed a tissue, wiping my tears and pulling a pencil out. The piece or paper placed infront of me while I twirl the pencil around not figuring out how to write my emotions down. Once I figured that out the pencil moves and it writes out “I hate you, I hate everything about you, but I love you and your smile, the way you stare at me, the way you hold me, the way you touch me. This is bye.” Jake Jacobs, black hair with a streak of white that he was born with, white skin that easily tans, stromy grey eyes, and a scar on his lip. My now ex boyfriend, Jake Jacobs, I loved him but apparently he didnt love me like I wanted him too, he loved my friend more then he could ever love me. I folded the paper in half and wrote my name on it and left it on his bed. I walked out and ran home. At my house I grabbed a bag and threw clothes, food, and money in their. When I was done I left my house and ran and ran as fast as I could and never looked back and the wetness of my tears as all the years of pain came back to me like a stab in my back. My parents divorce, my dad’s abuse, my mom leaving, Jake lying to me, cheating on me, and my friend betraying me.