if your hand could reach inside my heart,

what would you do with it?

you painted me pictures of heaven

as fresh as the spring walks we went on

as warm as the hugs you gave me

as sweet as the kisses we shared

holding hands turned into family dinners

and what stayed was the way that my head just so perfectly fit in that one spot on your shoulder

i tried to stay distant and take things slow

yet ...

“there’s good fish and bad fish“

my mom used to say

i’m seven years old

out on a beach day

“pay attention, take care“

i hear her voice in my head

i will, i promise

just one more step

the ocean surrounding me

i take it all in

a shimmering existence

a spark of the happiest i‘ve ever been

he‘s making his way to me

i reach for him just like i did

at the beach at seven

but now i just wait and si...

tw(?)

“did i really want this”,

is the question in my pounding head,

all day i lie in bed,

zach bryan calls that shit pure bliss.

i shouldn’t have done it,

i swear i am smart!

thinking about the words that were whispered in the dark,

but i’m really just a kid.

how did i let it get so messy,

it’s all my fault

3am and still awake:

“i might’ve been too dressy”,

it burns my wounds like salt,

to k...

i like to think the

cars rushing,

cheeks flushing,

crowds talking,

men walking,

don’t stress my soul the way they do.

i’ve never been a city person,

yet for you i wanted to be.

i’ve been on every subway cursing,

just for your face to light up

when you see,

all along it could’ve been me.

now i sit and drink from my lonely cup,

the busy lights there out my window.

i’ve never been a city person t...

“Are you happy?”

I stand on my doorstep and glance at the letters written on the envelope I found in my mailbox this morning. No name, no address.

Am I? Happy? Is that of any relevance?

I open the letter sipping my morning tea. Earl Grey.

I watch as a small segment of ash falls from it onto my rug, dissolving into hundreds of small pieces.

Sometimes I feel like that.

Staring at the silver parti...

i first discovered love at 16

though looking back it really didn’t seem

like love at all

i‘ve been closer recently

been taking more chances

and he feels like the honey in my tea

i‘m full on my own but even better through

his longing glances...

my cat matches the colour

of the leaves now,

we made a vow

to find no other.

your love warm

like the inside of my sweater,

it only gets better

when you take me to your dorm.

we fell in love in fall

not long ago,

i just want you to know

i wonder if this would end as cold

as this season,

currently waiting for the treason....