In the vines

I knew I was home

Heart shaped leaves leaving

Heart shaped impressions

A brush on my feet my thighs

I didn’t realize how trapped I was

In my anxiety

Until I felt the organic pleasure

Of the vines

To be free is to look back and realize

When you were unfree...

Make me a valley

Kisses make flowers make pollen

Spread between fingers lips skin

Make me a mountain

An arch a thrust an escape

Make me an ocean

Tease the water out of me...

You said to be scared of the alligators

Every time we walk this trail

Little turtles glide and perch

A fresh lawn smelling of grass and pollen

Rocks covered in lichen and slime

Jumping on them anyway

Avoiding bright blue waters

And piercing sun beams

Grasping at the little fragments

Of youth left in me...

When the fall wind starts to creep in

And I’m made into a tattered piece of cloth

Where can I grasp

So I don’t blow away into the trash

When the winter snow falls to the ground

And I’m made into a starving dog

Where can I eat

So I don’t freeze to the bone

When the spring growth spurts

And I’m made into a bug allergic to color

Where can I stay

So I don’t choke myself

When the summer heat bakes t...

What would it be like

To have so many loving friends

I will make some friends

Today I promise I will try

That is all I want for me...

if only leaves never browned

and you didn’t tire of calling my name

if only the moon could wrap me in her warm blanket

and care webs could form effortlessly like silkworms in their element

if only a cat’s purr could lull me to gentle rest

and we could all be fluent in each others touch languages

if only if only if only...

Fidgeting my feet

At the gate

Heart reminding me

Of my aliveness

My fragility

I’m so scared

I want to cry

What does it mean to

Feel more naked

Than naked as can be

To offer your body

A sacrifice

Given to the ones you love

Vulnerable as ever...

Why would I write a poem about loss

When loss is all I think about

Why would I pull the old couch cushions out

with my old lovers impressions

To the light

When I trace and cry over their outline

In the dark...

Turn to me

When you need my care

Turn away

When I need yours

Force me to talk

Til my voice runs out

Force me to walk

Til my legs buckle down

I gave all I could

Plus a little extra

That small part of myself

I was going to save for me

I gave to you

And now I have nothing left...

I turned the lights off and held a match unlit

To feel the terror crawling through my body

To test my patience

My endurance for pain

To feel the want

The desperation

For a match lit

To guide the way

In the pitch black nothingness

Only your voice on the phone

I surrendered the little hungry pieces of me

That were left

And took note of my fear

My emptiness

In that pitch black nothingness...