Demon time, demon mind, in my demon prime. That’s what I always thought. Until I had my baby.
My baby is so pure, so innocent, so beautiful. She didn’t ask to be here, she didn’t ask me to be her mother, she didn’t ask for disfunction.
The thoughts I have in my head, and the pain in my heart is not my baby’s burden. Since an adolescent I have only had to worry about myself. As long as it was good enough for me, it was good enough. Even though my “good” wasn’t the best.
My baby doesn’t know how cruel this world can be, and it is not her place to heal me.
The demons that I once aligned with, must be put to rest for the sake of my baby.
I always knew one day I would have to deal with my biggest demon of all. And today is the day.
I ran away at 17 after 5 years of abuse. I didn’t tell anyone, I learned to stop crying, I learned to count the clock so it would be over faster. Today is the day I fight the biggest demon of all.
I finally confronted my grandfather for molesting me since I was 12 in front of everyone. The truth that forced me to run away and never think about what happened, is now out.
I did this for my baby so she can have a functional mother.
It had been a long time coming, but now I feel I could truly call myself the slayer of monsters.
“Cause I’ll beat everybody ass in here!” Yelled Rashawn.
The chatter came to a screeching hault at Jess’ birthday party.
“All y’all some thieves and ain’t nobody leaving until I get my Hennessy”, says Rashawn drunkenly.
“Rashawn what are you talking about?” asked Jess.
“I bought a bottle for the group and a bottle for me and one of y’all bitch asses took my shit!”, shouted Rashawn.
“Aye homie whoever you talking to you better put a stamp on it cause who you think you talking to forreal?”, says Dre.
Jess quickly gets up and in between Dre and Rashawn.
Jess knew how Rashawn can get, but in the name of celebration she invited him to her birthday kickback. Immediately regretting it as it begins to get tense.
“Shawn you didn’t even walk in here with a bag what are you talking about”, Jess says confusingly.
“Yes the fuck I did I bought two bottles for you and they punk asses and y’all decide to take MY shit” exclaimed Rashawn.
As Jess begins to push him back, Rashawn gets progressively angry and other partygoers grow more impatient at the disrespect.
“Yo Jess get ya man’s before shit get ugly for him” says Dre.
“UGLY FOR WHO NIGGA?” exclaimed Rashawn.
“Nigga YOU” says Dre as he begins to walk towards Rashawn clutching his fist.
“Dre I’ll handle it please dont” Jess continues “Rashawn it’s probably in the fucking car and your drunk ass forgot it!”
“Man on my mama I brought the bottles in this bitch!”
“Let’s go check then. You need some fucking air drunk ass!” exclaims Jess.
Jess walks behind Rashawn to the car.
“Shawn I love you but you are a liability when you’re drunk! How you gone insult everybody in the house and think nobody was gone buck?!”
“Man I went to the store before I even came here” says Rashawn as he searches for his keys.
Jess looks in the backseat window in disbelief.
“I know damn well this white bag with two bottles in this back seat is not what you THOUGHT you took in the house. Open this damn door Shawn”.
Burning with embarrassment, Rashawn pats his pockets profusely, “boy ain’t no way boy”.
“Unlock the damn door,” says Jess impatiently.
Rashawn pulls his car keys out and opens the door. Jess grabs the bag of alcohol and stares at Rashawn so sharp, he began to turn red.
“Wow this crazy I could’ve sworn I took that shit out!” says Rashawn.
“And I could’ve sworn that you didn’t! You just insulted everybody in the damn house because YOU didn’t double check!” Exclaimed Jess.
“Jess I brought a bag in the house I know I did I’m not fucking tripping” explained Rashawn.
Jess rolls her eyes and begins to walk back towards the house.
Rashawn continues, “no Jess I swear I had something in my hand when I first came in.”
As Jess goes back in the kitchen with the bag of alcohol, she glances to her right and sees a diaper bag. She turns around abruptly and looks at Rashawn.
“Shawn is this your fucking diaper bag?” as she points to the chair the diaper bag is sitting on.
Rashawn’s eyes gets big as he realizes it is indeed his sons diaper bag.
Confused, Rashawn explains, “The diaper bag is in my backsea…” as he pauses mid word. He realizes the bag he brought inside was the diaper bag, not liquor.
He continues to explain, “wow my bad Jess, I…”
Jess cuts him off, “you are a true idiot” she says in disbelief.