When did I confuse my faith with religion? When did they become enmeshed?

Why could I not see that one was man made and the other an overflow of Gods heart.

Rules became my religion, perhaps they still coexist within me, intermingled with my soul. Pumping through my veins, beating to the rhythm of my heart.

If the two are inextricably linked, how do you separate them and survive? How do you emer...

Your dreams became mine

When we promised to be forever thine

We scrimped and saved

Extra shifts I gave

So you could build your empire

I became whatever you required

You shared you ruminations and fears

Supporting you through dark and light years

My wifely submission

Became my great commission

My needs I suppressed

Because you could care less

With new tattoos and a fresh hairdo

You pulled ...

Do we rediscover or re -define?

We cannot unsee, or turn back time.

We can move forward, but never back,

We rebrand, rename to make up for our lack

A brand new name with confetti and glitter

Cannot hide the fact that our love has turned bitter

I sought to rediscover you in my life

Yet you filled me heartache and strife

Then I realized in my fruitless attempts to discover you…

I lost myself, a...

The pangs of emotional neglect

Have left me defeated and bereft

Seen but not heard; heard but not seen

A fixture , a forgotten coffe table magazine

Lonely, but not alone

Appearing that I had nothing to bemoan

Knowing i am lacking,

My brain have I been wracking

For a plausible explanation

For my apparent dysregulation

Could it be emotional deprivation?

Sitting with my silent sorrow and ...

You were a house when I needed a home,

A vacant text

When I needed a tome

Your lack of communication left me perplexed

Needing a hand to hold,

But you left me to roam

In health but not in sickness

Your empty promises dwelt

I bled…

And you fled

Into someone else’s bed

Your industry was a disguise for your indiscretion

Anything apart from me became your obsession

You had me hello

But you le...

Tangled am I

In your web of lies

But don’t worry,

I will rise

You were ready to suck the life out of me

But I’m a bee

Not just any you see

But a Queen

And you will feel my sting...

You took my breath away

When your love bomb hit

You cut off the oxygen to my heart

I didn’t need a love bomb

I needed love balm...

You took a gun and shot me in the heart

And as I lay bleeding

You refused to give me the medical attention I was needing

Instead…

You gave me a needle and thread

And said…

Hurry! Sew yourself up!

And I said: what the fuck?

I sewed myself up in a tidy little bow

So that no one would know

On the inside I was slowly bleeding out

My heart was shattered into a 1000 piece puzzle...

Cheat

Cheating

Making love

To someone new

Infidelity

Has shattered our marriage

And yet you still disparage

My attempts to understand it

Your lack of remorse is a bullet

Lodged into my heart forevermore...

My tears pour like rain,

Is there a purpose for all this pain?

I don’t want all this destruction to be in vain

May my tears imbue the land and stain

The earth with their memory of bane

The earth is a witness to my heartache

My tears have memory and validate

My story, the truth

Each teardrop holds a piece of my story

And encapsulates in bitter glory

Because water is living

It sustains li...