Betrayal, a word that cuts deep. Especially from someone you considered close The pain is unforgettable Revenge is the only thing on your mind All you can about is how and why You feel like you’ve been struck by lightning And you don’t know what to do Life goes on, you live and you learn.
06/2023
A white Christmas, but I’m feeling blue, Feelings locked up, I don’t want to show you. Matching PJ pics, loneliness set in What comes with that is depression.
I wish I could have that lifestyle Be with family and all smiles But I come from a broken family That talks about you brutally.
I’m tired of spending Christmas alone Crying, listening to music on my headphones Wishing that I was good enough Having a broken family is rough
That’s why I hate the holidays I’m jealous, and not in a bad way I just hate that I don’t have anyone To spend time with and have fun.
My favorite patient is dying, But how do I tell her that? How do I tell her she has six months? Why do I have to be the bearer of bad news? I know I’ve done this a thousand times, But I can’t bring myself to do it right now.
“Can I take a minute?” I ask my supervisor He sees my troubled expression on my face He puts a hand on my shoulder, but I shrug. Before he can answer, I go into the restroom As soon as I hit the door, the tears fall And I start crying uncontrollably.
Rediscover you Who are you? What’s your dreams? What’s your values? Your weakness? Your purpose?
When is the last time you did something for you? When is the last time you did something  out of your comfort zone?
Do you like you? Do you like your family? Do you like your friends? Who is someone you need to let go of?
Do you have boundaries? What boundaries do you need to set, starting today? What trauma do you have  That is holding you back?
Sit down with pen and paper  Jot down everything that hurts you  Write your insecurities And who made you insecure? 
Do you accept you as a person?  What can you change today?  Is there someone you need Apologize to for something?
You may lie to other people  But you can’t lie to yourself Because deep down, you know Who and what is good for you.
There were always signs The lies you constantly told The way you treated others The lack of respect for yourself
But I looked past that Tried to see the good I refused to believe Even if it was right in front of me
The way you yelled at me Called me every bad name Or how I was the blame For everything bad that happened
Constantly deflecting the truth Constantly playing the victim Constantly acting like a child When things didn’t go your way
The manipulation was real Wasn’t more real than the struggle The struggle to get away From the lies and victim blaming
My heart has gone cold. My well has run dry. I’m broken down and tired And can no longer cry.
He shut the door wide open.
