i hope one day
when you find a man who’s cold and mean
you find yourself behind the stove
making dinner for the family you’d planned
i hope the knife slips
that it barely misses your hand
that your husband isn’t pleased
and the corn reminds you of my crooked teeth
i hope your children cry and you can’t stand them
that you miss my emotions
and raise a right hand
and vow to apologize and try me ...
he makes me hate myself
but there’s just something about it
hating doesn’t feel hateful if it’s what he wants
he hates me
i hate him
so why even bother?
shouldn’t that be a sign to let it go?
i guess i don’t know
i love that i hate hating him
and i hate that i hate myself because i hate him
but i love all of it...
we knew all along this wouldn’t last
we sat there in silence, two lost hearts
hoping we could find it in us to believe
what we’d planned our whole lives around
that we loved each other
with depth and purity
but the love could never be deeper than the silence
the peace in knowing we both anticipated the end
love damned us, but silence was a priceless gift...
something about looking at you
your pretty face is prettier close up
blemishes paint your cheeks like stars in the sky
freshly shaven hairs peek through your skin
as rough as they are, they make you softer
your face is painted a natural pink
or maybe i had flushed you
in the time i looked at you
you turned human from perfection
somehow making perfection seem insufficient
oh, the art of seeing you...
i grasp a pulsing heart in my hands
it talks to me sweetly as blood pools from it
a seemingly disturbing image
the loveliest voice i’ve ever heard speaks through it
i’ve never heard my voice speak with such grace
except i hear it every day
narrating every thought i have
my heart is my brain and i am my heart...
i don’t love you the way i love her
as she embraces you
i imagine her hair on my shoulders
her clothes hugging her body
my body
in that moment she’s all i’ve ever longed to be
you are mine but she is me
i could rip her apart and worship the pieces
because who would disregard
the most human parts of an angel...
never did i think instead of falling asleep to you
i would only see you in my unconsciousness
i meander through a quaint street, hoping to create you from nothing
just a kiss to know how it feels
but soon enough your face was everywhere
a face that seemed to never know me
eye contact and a friendly smile, a stranger.
this stranger in the street was yesterday my friend
my best friend
my lover
my ...
