Deep down, you’re really shallow.

They say that crushes are like fireworks: Beautiful to watch but only lasting moments. I tried to prolong you, grasping your components-

Futile.

Like a candle’s last breath, the falling tallow, Like a rising fireworks expression, the vibrant hallow,

Deep down, you’re really shallow.

It’s funny how the mind makes full course meals out of breadcrumbs: An occasional smile, a fleeting blink Which in my haste I mistook for a wink.

Hindsight’s a killer.

Forgive my inexperience, forgive my callow, Forgive me for thinking it all wouldnt lie fallow

But deep down, you’re really shallow.

What is the essence of a crush? A fugitive feeling, with its core so close to its surface? A sadistic enthraller with evil motives and purpose?

It’s lacklustre.

Like a towering giant being grazed by an arrow, Like a spindling bone, stripped of its marrow,

Deep down, you’re really, really shallow.

Thank the bottomless, boundless skies, That garnish and adorn your spectacular eyes.

Thank the meadows for being a place to unwind, They fawn upon what I indulge in: your brilliant mind.

Thank the oceans, the push and pull they learned from you, Keeping those in your presence enthralled, never blue.

Thank the wind for its placid streams, That come from your tongue, so calm, so serene.

Thank the stars for their rhapsodic erruptions, That bless your soul in constant propulsions.

Thank the sun for its glowing affinity, Incarnated as you, and flowing infinitely.

Thank the universe, its energetic convections, Culminating in your being, vibrational inflections.

And when all is said and done, thank you.

Thank you for gracing the world with your presence, Just gazing upon you sends life’s problems a deflection, An ode of my own accord, a creed of no pretense, The mirror image of my very reflection.

If loving you was a crime, I’d have a life sentence.

Locked in the dreary- Tight confines. My entirety encapsulated, it shivers my spine

Over a crime, not so falsely accused In hindsight. I’m rather amused

By the feelings that enchain me so, Harmful feelings. Separating myself from the me long ago

This sentence has resulted in this mess, To alleviate the pain:

I must confess.

Turning up the volume once again, I indulge Into my happy place:

A world of chaos silenced With one button’s press Dries a tear’s descent down my face- My mood bursting into flames Untamed and bright Bold and free As a wildfire scorches in harmony In a moment that seems to last forever.

However, as the chorus begins to fade And the outside world pours in, The wildfire becomes A mere spark A broken component And then I remember That a moment that seems to last forever Is still only A moment.

Though the cold, harsh beginning of a winters night, Ill feelings have surfaced; come to light. These feelings, however, bear a great albatross An immense pressure: feelings of loss.

Like the ever-evident loss of time- A feeling most draining, short of sublime, Promotes an uncanny urgency, a great haste To regain what’s lost, to close the space.

Or perhaps a loss in a friend or foe- It feels there’s not much difference although. Their spiteful words, disguised as blessings, Coated in sugar, an attraction depressing.

Or maybe the loss of direction- astray - From dreams and aspirations, obligations away. A lack of motive, due to countless disappointments, A dreary life; devoid of enjoyment.

A myriad of losses- amounting in just one: A loss of myself, an absence forever gone.

As a moth to a flame, I am to you. You engulf me in rhapsodies of joy, Like a blind lover enchained in your ploy. You fill my mind when I have much to do And I procrastinate; in pen I spew Of fussiness and great feelings of coy And moments with you I’d wish to enjoy. These thoughts of you, so constantly accrued: I’m at war with myself! Seeing your face Turned away from that of mine is torture. The distance between: The infinite space Envelopes me in a morose rapture…

Once I start, I’ll forever continue: If I count the ways I love you.

Under the glistening sky of Morrowsedge, Two warriors, accompanied by their pledge:

To vanquish the dragon that ran amok, And terrorised the town without cease or stop.

With their quick wits and clever planning, (And tin foil to avoid a fiery tanning)

They soon arrived, winds blest, To the apex of the dragon’s nest.

A peculiar thing there they were to reap: The ruthless dragon was sound asleep.

They climbed atop its magma dwelling, Any hint of noise, an intended quelling.

Alas, their goal was fully in sight, An end to their toil, strife and blight.

They quickly rejoiced, but in their haste Disrupted the peace in the quiet place

The dragon awoke! Wailing and screaming, An abrupt end to its prolonged dreaming.

Their cover blown, the warriors fledged, Hand in hand, they neared the edge.

A last look back brought the tale to a close; The menacing dragon, a maniacal foe.

The warriors fled, only themselves to blame, They vowed to slay the dragon again.

Is there a greater feeling of melancholy than this? To believe that one lacks, that one’s reason to exist Is to emphasise the talent of others, The talent in you, ruthlessly smothered.

To be imperfect was abhorrent, I thought; A twisted lie, a status for-taught. Yet this belief brings a whole host of troubles The more you pursue, the more it bubbles

Into a frothy mess- stealing your vision: Of fun and laughter in surplus, in addition It warps your dreams into a relentless chase, As satisfaction becomes out of place.

There is hope yet.

Suppose you wanted to write or read, Give in to the urge, I suggest you concede You don’t have to be perfect, You’re already worth it, Lest Atelophobia impede.

To a once condemned side of me, A side that pranced. Tears that would fall, yet the side still danced.

Throughout the dreary and lachrymose, A side that wandered - I suppose

A side that may be not weary of its peers, Nor the animosity it beholds or hears.

I wish to return to that side once again, To cherish the sun, to be oblivious to rain Fleeting, as it may be, plentifully fading I still have hope for

My Awakening.