Your love is like an arrow Laced with poison At first it feels shallow Then it pierces deeper
I thought we were happy I thought we had something Now it’s just a memory Of nice times we used to have
I remember when you hit me For the first time, I cried Then you hugged me and set me free But I was trapped in my own mind
I should have left sooner But your grip tightened on me And then I saw you with her That’s what broke our ties
I packed my things away While you were at the pub Things no longer seemed grey And I ran
Too small. Too bulky. Too squishy. Where was the perfect one? My footsteps echoed in the deafening silence as I walked further through the darkness. More were revealed to me. Too tall. Too fidgety. Too much ink. My stomach growled unhappily. My footsteps weakened. I had been trapped for days, this was my first time back out into the world. My first meal as a free woman. It had to be perfect. No. No. No. Was I going in a circle? They were all the same type. Tall. Squishy. Skinny. Where was the perfect one? Strong, sure feet sounded behind me. A hand caught my wrist. “Where ya going, lovely?” I turned. Bare skin, bald, not too muscly or fat. Not too tall or skinny. Perfect. He was my next meal.
I took a deep breath, my hands trembling. I had to face this reunion. I pushed the double doors open and rearranged my features into a smile. Everybody stared at me in awe. Most of them had gone downhill after leaving this dump, and although physically I was never better, my mental health was destroyed. I glanced at the familiar faces. His stood out to me straight away. I forced myself not to hyperventilate. We were in a room full of people, nothing could happen. I had to get over my PTSD, I had to stay through the whole reunion. His face also darkened when he realised it was me. He beckoned me over slowly, a fake smile plastered on his face. I didn’t want to go to him. I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t. I was walking. No, no no, I was walking towards him. I couldn’t bear to look into his eyes when I reached him. “Hi.” I muttered. “Hey! Lauren! It’s so good to see you!” I looked into his eyes, shocked. He looked genuinely happy to see me. “You look so great Laur!! What do you do now?” I forced myself to smile back. Maybe he had become a better person? “I’m the CEO of Jones industrial fasteners.” “That’s great!” I grabbed him by the hand and pulled him outside. I couldn’t shake the feeling that something weird was happening. I ignored the childish whistles from some of the year as we left. He was the reason I’d attended years of therapy, I couldn’t just let that go. “What’s this about Lauren?” “Don’t act so innocent. Did you just ‘forget’ what you did to me?” He laughed lightly. “What do you mean? Is this some sort of game?” “A pretty sick game. I had to attend years of therapy because of you!!” Suddenly his face darkened. The sudden change shocked me to the core. “Of course I remember,” he hissed so quietly I had to strain to hear. “I just thought you would have blocked it out. Obviously I was wrong.” He grabbed my hand this time, and dragged me to the school lake. This is where it happened. This is where he did it. “I would have drowned you too if I had the chance. You’re not getting away from me this time. No witnesses.” He grabbed my head and plunged it under water. I remembered watching him to this to her. My girlfriend. The love of my life. I clawed are his hands uselessly. It was no hope. “Tell Jade I say hi,” he snarled as I lost consciousness
I used it for good. I always used it for good. I saved lives. All I had to do was etch the design in, and it would come true. I saved peoples lives. The worst thing I ever did was make someone step on a nail, and that was their fault, they requested the tattoo of a nail. I just didn’t see him coming. Johnny. My childhood bully, stepping into my shop. “Hi, I- oh my god! Krissy?” I smiled. It may have been more of a grimace. “You work in a tattoo shop now? How... quaint!” He shrugged. Hatred pounded through my veins. “I’m a surgeon, but you know, as long as you pay the bills, all is good.” He laughed a pompous irritating laugh. With every breath, every movement, he radiated with an arrogance that is impossible to name. “Anyway, I would like a tattoo. Freestyle, if you do that.” I had been offered freestyle tattoos before. It was the easiest way for me to seal somebody’s fate. Suddenly I realised the power I had over him. I could make him lose his job, get robbed, anything. I knew I wasn’t going to though. I sat him in the chair and set everything up. While I was doing so, he piped up again. “You know, I made your life a living hell in school.” He said it proudly. He was bragging about ruining my teenage years. Hatred pulsed through me like a parasite. I nodded, and grabbed the needle. It felt as though my arm was possessed, I’d lost all control. I watched as I etched a gravestone. “Oh, dark.” Johnny laughed nervously as my hand continued to draw. 1, 2, 3 gravestones. Each had a different name on it. Someone Johnny was close to. Someone he loved. Each had the same date on it. 6th September 2020. 1 week. I finished the tattoo and Johnny stared at it angrily. “Listen, I know you’re still mad at me and all, but don’t you think this is too far? I’m getting this removed.” It was too late. Not even removing the tattoo would erase it from existence. He thought it was just some sick joke. No. I had accidentally killed innocent people, all because of a bully. I had sealed their fate and his. As he left the shop only one though crossed my mind.
Who’s next?
“For the love of god, Lizzie, just throw it away!” That only made me hold her tighter. She saved my life when I was 6, who knew if I would need her again? “At least leave it at home, this is your college interview! You’re never going to get it was that thing in your hand!” I shook my head. One way or another, she was coming with me. “I’ll put her in my bag, okay? But I am NOT leaving her here.” Mum sighed, knowing that this was the only compromise she was going to get.
I was shaking with nerves. Dream school. In the waiting area, some were rehearsing what they were going to say, some were just sitting there, some were pacing. I just slipped my hand in my bag and touched her. “Lizzie?” I grabbed my bag and walked in. I shook the Dean’s hand professionally. “Hello, nice to meet you!” “And you, Lizzie!” She smiled warmly at me. “I must admit, this has been my dream school since I was 11,m.” The Dean smiled. I went to put down my bag, it toppled over, and Jade fell out, her glass eye staring pleasantly at the ceiling. My cheeks flushed with embarrassment and I stuffed her back in my bag. 𝑃𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑒 𝑑𝑜𝑛’𝑡 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑠𝑒𝑒𝑛, 𝑝𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑒 𝑑𝑜𝑛’𝑡 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑠𝑒𝑒𝑛... But the look on her face gave everything away. The rest of the interview was painful. When I told mum what happened, her face went blank, unreadable. I didn’t think anything of it, I just accepted that I had failed. However, a week later, mum told me to get in the car.
Therapy.
She sent me to therapy.
I sat in the chair, mortified, clutching Jade. “Hello Lizzie, I’m Doctor Charles.” His voice was smooth, but I felt tense. “Why am I here?” I asked apprehensively. “Well your mother told me you bring this doll,” he indicated towards Jade “everywhere you go?” “So what? She saved my life.” “Ah, I heard about that. Tell me, where is the culprit now?” “Serving a life sentence.” “So you don’t need Jade any more?” He was right. “But she makes me feel so safe!!” “I understand. I don’t want to push you. Could we just try handing me the doll? Take control over her out of your hands briefly?” Reluctantly, I handed her over. He examined her. When I asked for her back, he smiled. Without breaking eye contact, he reached one of his hands to her head, and ripped it off. “This isn’t what therapy is meant to be like,” I murmured anxiously. “Jade can’t help you now. You won’t get away from me that easily. I can’t believe you just handed it over to me!” My heart stopped.
A scream.
A s c r e a m.
Silence.
Kendra felt it. The magnetic force. She didn’t know where is would lead her, but she couldn’t wait to find out. She left a note on the fridge and sprinted out the door with her backpack in hand. Lilly felt it. The magnetic force. She was relieved. She had no idea where it was going to take her, but any where was better than her house. She crept out her window and down the drainpipe. She couldn’t wake her dad up, she didn’t want another bruise. She was gone. Kendra sprinted down the street, the force pulling her by the chest, by the heart. Her mother had told her that she’ll know she found the right thing when she sees it. Something will click in her brain. Suddenly rain began to pour. She halted briefly to pull out an umbrella, and kept running. Lilly only knew about the force from school. She didn’t know what is led to, or why she felt obligated to follow it, but the force was pulling at her heart, urging her onwards. Kendra has been running for what felt like hours when she saw something. A light. A colossal light atop a red and white striped tower. She knew it was time to climb the lighthouse. Lilly had been walking for around 30 minutes in silence and pouring rain that soaked her to the bone when she saw it. A lighthouse. She knew her destiny lay at the top. Kendra scaled the stairs. 3, 2, 1, a lightbulb greeted her. Nothing else. Her face fell until the forced pulled her to a chair. She had to wait. The forced seemed to be telling her what direction the thing was at. Lilly got to the door and pulled it open. The forced was pulling her. Up, up, up... some people found money, their dream job, a house key, a pen. She reached the top. Kendra stared into Lilly’s drenched face. Lilly stared into Kendra’s hazelnut eyes. It wasn’t a house, money, a job, no. It was something much more valuable. They both new it. Lilly tripped in to Kendra’s arms. They had found each other.
Emily, Hi. I don’t really have time to explain. I’m you. Well, kind of. I’m a version of you, from a parallel universe. Listen. You don’t know this. None of the Emily’s do, but we are important. We have suppressed abilities. You know those weekly injections? They’re to suppress them. I’m the only Emily who stopped having them. Now the lab are after me. I’m coming to your universe to hide. You have to help hide me. I’ll be here in 20 minutes. I hope this got to the right universe. Please! Emily
Tears stream down his face as he carries her down the beach. He forced himself to stifle a sob as he sets her down gently on the ground, her fuchsia hair falling over her closed eyes. He brushes it from her eyes but covers her temple gently. He puts the shovel hard into the wet sand. Again. Again. He can’t prevent the guttural sob that forces it’s way out of him. The hole gets bigger. Bigger. He glared at the ground as though it’s angered him. It’s finally big enough to accommodate her. He lowers her kindly into the grave. The sand goes over her slender body. The grave fills slowly as he sobs more. He forces the shovel into his foot. He needs to feel something. Something other that depression. He smooths the ground over. A wave covers her grave. He’ll never see her again. He bends over her grave site and feigns composure. “That’s what you get when you impersonate my daughter you sadist.” He stares up. “Don’t worry Maggie, I’m coming to find you.”
