It’s the anticipation that tortures you, you barely feel the injections themselves.

Or so I thought, until I got the rabies vaccine.

Hurt like a bitch....

It is not a new concept, but I often find myself wondering where the road not taken may have lead.

When focused on one element of your life, there is a tendency to shift other elements to the side.

But there is no way to know if one of those elements was an immensely important road in life for you.

While now it is naught but a page of your week, maybe it had potential to run for many happy chap...

One more minute

The urge will go

But I’m so thirsty

I cannot sleep like this

No matter how long I’ve been trying

So I get a drink

And then go back to bed in peace

And comfort

But the body is never truly relaxed until death

So now I need a wee...

Got a PS5.

Epic....

“Your life is changed and you can’t verbally react” said the doctor. “But they’re like the same thing, your life is changed because you can’t speak again”.

Henry was devastated, but not too much. After all, this appointment had been arranged three weeks prior when he had first lost his vocal skills, so he had plenty of time to get used to it before he got to the front of the NHS waiting list. ‘Da...

I packed my wet wipes.

I don’t know how they expect us to do our business out there but I’m not taking chances....

I walked in the door and the floorboards creaked, and then a light flickered, and then a ghoulish figure darted through the hall blah blah blah.

How many times have we seen the same tropes? When are people going to come up with new things that are scary?

Everything was invented somewhere, clowns weren’t scary originally. There’s got to be new horror techniques out there to be discovered.

Bec...

I heard someone fart today.

So why do I feel embarrassed?...

When I look at the mirror I stand butt-naked and say I love you for 5 minutes.

Until you believe the person looking back at you really means it, you’ll never believe it when anyone else says it.

So tell your reflection you love it until your eyes well up.

The butt-naked part isn’t as important but makes it slightly more poetic in some regard I reckon....

Once upon a time I shat in this lake.

Among friends, or so I thought.

For alas, your friends are rarely still your friends after witnessing you unleash a pungent fury upon them.

It must’ve been something I ate, because I didn’t feel it.

My bowels unleashed hellfire upon the world as smoothly as a sword leaving a sheath.

I have less friends now....