BagelRat

Mostly write about my overwhelming thoughts. Mostly depressing writings so just a little warning.

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4wxm1czj4shavuseonv6tz?si=xkwm73lytqgpx46xblrqjq&pi=u-xl2mmj3lt1ir

Writings

Followers

Following

BagelRat

Mostly write about my overwhelming thoughts. Mostly depressing writings so just a little warning.

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4wxm1czj4shavuseonv6tz?si=xkwm73lytqgpx46xblrqjq&pi=u-xl2mmj3lt1ir

Writings

Followers

Following

If Only

BagelRat

1 min read

If only this world would have shown a little mercy

If only I didn’t loose my ring

If only the pills worked

If only you didn’t hid stuff from me

If only I didn’t think like this

If only I didn’t rely on everyone so much

If only you didn’t see what I post

If only I wasn’t like this

**_If only…

_**...

Poetry

Overdose

BagelRat

1 min read

Why did I do it this time

It hasn’t kicked in yet

1,2,3,4,5 pills

I feel dizzy

I don’t feel so good

My ears are ringing

What should I do?

Maybe if this doesn’t work I’ll try something else.....

My Love

BagelRat

1 min read

Her voice is like a river flowing in my heart.

Her laugh fills my heart with happiness.

She's as pretty as a sunset glowing in the crisp sky.

Her eyes shine like tigers eye.

Her voice echoes in my head.

When she looks in my eyes it feels like I only matter.

My love for her grows like a garden each day.

My heart beats so fast it sounds like a basketball on the court.

She is engraved in my hea...

Poetry

Pain

BagelRat

1 min read

Why are the thoughts in my head so violent

I’m trying

I’m not enough

I’m starving but I’m barely surviving

I hate hiding these cuts

Panic attacks around every corner

I’m so **dramatic**

****

What is it like to love myself

Jump? cut? Hang myself?

I want to go

Please take me away

It hurts to much

No one cares or notices

Maybe if I take more antidepressants

What if I overdose?

Maybe I should do d...

Poetry

Hidden

BagelRat

1 min read

I’m afraid for you to come home

How can I hide this?

It goes all the way down my forearm

The bandages won’t stay

Don’t send me away

It was a moment

It was a lot

Blood on my blade

I don’t want you to see it

You have before

You left with no care

So why do I think you’ll care this time?

Maybe you should take me away

I know you don’t want that again

But that wasn’t me…

So I’ll stay hidden...

Love

BagelRat

1 min read

Those eyes looking at me. That smile got my head spinning. Your so perfect. Your so good with your words and I don’t wanna let you go. Your hands resting on my hips like they belong there. You are my everything. I love you so much.

- M...

Poetry

Mistake

BagelRat

1 min read

I’m sorry I wasn’t enough

I’m sorry I’m not like your other daughters

I’m sorry I don’t have a perfect body

I’m sorry you don’t love me

I’m sorry I was a mistake

**_ Im sorry….

_**I wish you didn’t body shame me

I wish I was strong

I wish I was smart

I wish I loved myself

I wish I didn’t look like this

I wish the voices weren’t so loud

I wish you cared

I wish I was...

Poetry

Breathe

BagelRat

1 min read

“Hey, look it’s a grave! Quick don’t breathe..”

Trust me I wasn’t breathing

My lungs are giving out

My vocals are broken

I dig deeper into my arms, legs, and chest

**_Breathe_**__

My eyes roll back

Blood drips to the floor

Scars from head to toe

**_Breathe_**__

What’s my name?

Is that the ambulance?

Who’s shouting?

Who’s...

Skinny

BagelRat

1 min read

Another sleepless night

Fresh blood on my wrist

A empty stomach

Trying to look like a model

Teardrops on my pillow

Blood on my blade

Starving myself

Trying to feel something…

Just something…

Just breathe…

“Pull me out of the train wreck”...

Poetry

Passing

BagelRat

1 min read

It’s been a year since you’ve died. Today I went fishing with my mom I wish you were there. You left us behind and I blame myself. I want to see you soon. I wish you could have taking me hunting and fishing. But now your six feet under with no tombstone. Your wife is working to get money for a gravestone but it’s difficult. We all wish you were here. I’m sorry your kidneys failed and you rotted aw...