perhaps i should have waited for your arrival. but my god- the /smell/ that lingered in the air. i couldn’t help myself. and the taste- it was heavenly. it had the right amount out of spices with just a hint of lemon. i wish i would apologize but i cant because i’m not sorry. i wish i you would have never come because you ruined the perfect evening with your anger. how could you ruin something so perfect? and maybe i should have gone after you when you stormed out. but i didn’t. i instead stayed, and finished the remaining of your plate. and for /that/ i apologize. i will not apologize for eating though, because i don’t regret a single thing. because to me, it was the most absolutely perfect evening- i mean besides your negative attitude.

3:46 AM

i still remember your voice is laced with anger, your eyes glossed over with pure disgust the way your words hit me, how i felt. you never raised your hand at me maybe that’s why no one believed me there was not a single scar that painted over my golden skin when i left not a single one part of me wishes you had just hit me it would have been easier but you didn’t because you aren’t that nice so instead, you hid behind your words and used them as a weapon and i couldn’t do anything not a single damn thing because you hadn’t laid a hand on me what was i supposed to say? that you were being mean to me? no one believes the slut who cries wolf. i laid in tears in bed all night i hated you for the longest time and then when i got over this hump, i hated myself for not hating you isn’t that funny? the irony? perhaps this was the perfect mixture of destruction and beauty.