I quivered as I lowered the body underground, pouring salts to hide the smell. It was a dark and unusually quiet night in Riverside and I didn't particularly know how to feel about it. Maybe it was the eire silence or the subtle wind but something felt off. It was almost like someone was watching me.

I quickly covered the body, glancing around to make sure no one was watching, and then reached down to pick up my shovel that I found in the basement. Suddenly I heard a noise, quickly turning around I scanned the premises thoroughly my vision scattered by the darkness of the night. Nothing. I could hear my heart pound through my chest. Taking the shovel I raced out of the woods, trying to figure out which way I came in.

Then all of a sudden bright blue and red lights blinded my vision. I was surrounded by them. 
“Get down on your knees” I heard someone scream. The police. I quietly sobbed as the clicked the stiff metal handcuffs around my trembling hands. The loud noise of sirens rang in my ear, as the police officer behind me shoved me into the back of his car. I knew that they had found the body by then, and in another 3 days I would be standing in a court, pleading guilty for the charge of murder. 

I didn't do it.

I didn't do it. 

I didn't do it.

I did it.

The salty fruitiness running down my cheek I feel it enter my mouth and I crave more That bitter aching familiar taste Is the addiction I was just craving for The sadness anger love and pain Formed into a droplet on my cheek How can one be so powerful When it looks like a drop of water in a gleaming sea

A story about the dark power of love.

Explicit language

I arrived at the back of her workplace, a vast parking lot filled with hundreds of cars. The different colors combine as one from afar- appearing as a beautiful collage. She saw her friend’s beautiful cobalt eyes light up as she opened the back door of her office. Her long chestnut-colored hair swayed as she ran towards me, enveloping me in a hug. I was so confused.. what was going on? “Ok, ok a little too tight Claire”, I whispered gently squeezing her shoulders back. I quickly pulled her to my car before one of us got hit by the cars quickly zipping down the lot. We got in my black Sudan sitting in silence, both of us immersed in our thoughts. Our fingers slightly brushed each other as we both reached for our phones… both unsure how to start the conversation. “So.. what are we doing today” Claire questioned, putting her hands behind her head. If she was acting normal, ok fine I’ll act normal too. I’ll ignore the bouncing energy in my stomach, the strong pulse in my veins. I turned away from her to hide the feelings that were convulsing in my body. The pain and grief of love. I had to go outside. It was all just too much for me, HOW COULD SHE ACT NORMAL? “Ari, you good?” She asked. Even her saying my name turned me on. Fuck. “I’m good Claire. I'm so fucking good” I choked, starting the engine. The grief and sadness turned into boiling anger. Tears welled up in my eyes. How could she? How could she? How could she? How could she? She told me she loved me. I started driving. First at 20 mph.. then 60… 90. I couldn’t think. My feelings were driving the car, fueled by my anger. I couldn’t stop. I wasn’t under control, it was my heart. “WHAT THE FUCK ARI”, Claire roared. “STOP THE FUCKING CAR”, she begged, tears streaming down her cheeks. We were both going to die. I didn’t know what to do. We were both crying now. My heart burned, the grief slowly coming back in waves, each new one more agonizing. I had to stop the car. I pushed the brake while turning the wheel, the car spinning, crashing by a nearby hill. Both of us howled with fear as we spun down the hill. Blood streaked down my chin, glass shards piercing my skin.. but that pain didn’t compare to the unbearable, unreachable pain in my heart. “I NEED YOU”, I sobbed. Was I going crazy? I didn’t care. I reached for Claire, burying my face in her shoulder, both of us clinging to each other. I didn’t care if I died right now.

————————- 30 minutes later ————————-

Sirens wailed from afar, or were they close? I couldn’t tell. Red and blue lights pierced my eyes as someone pulled me out of a broken car, where was I? I touched my face feeling something wet soak my fingers, the liquid streaming down my arms. Something red. “Don’t worry, you're safe” someone cooed in my ear as they took me into a truck. I only had one thing on my mind. Where was Claire?

————————— 2 weeks later —————————

I arrived at the funeral, hundreds of people covered in black seated in rows. Everyone combined to look like one colossal black hole. I took my seat in the very back, watching the love of my life sink into the ground. It was classified as an accident. That’s what my attorney told me to tell everyone. I wish I died.