I smelled a whiff Of caramel Graham cracker smell My senses shift And like a gift A brown leaf fell And, by its spell My toe, it twitched

So? With my toe Or with my arch Shall I descend?

Between the two A match was met Goodbye old friend: CRUNCH!!!!

The sighs and roars of the rolling deep Quiet the ones in my head Who typically shout and growl and weep Out of existential dread

The betrayal I feel at missing out The fear of choosing wrong
When I feel that I have zero clout ‘Cause no one asked me to come along

But lying here on the cold hard sand And listening to the crackling foam The bubble and snap and the ocean’s roar
I feel like I am home

There’s no longer a burning in my chest Or the knot that weighs me down
I feel the truth in my own warm breath And my lips refuse to frown

My back is cold, the wind is high My hair sticks to my face But I am enough by the ocean’s side And I feel I know my place

The salt in my mouth is my truest guide: Nobody wins this race.

Promise me you won’t laugh at me When I get the assignment wrong They tell me this and tell me that But I rarely join the throng.

The sorts of things I care about The kinds of things I dream Don’t fit inside a storyline: I stitch a jagged seam.

I tie them all up at the end Whether or not they rhyme You’ll get no flash or style from me Just what’s in my mind.

So when this app a tale demands To keep up my writing streak I hope my poems will be okay And you will not think me weak For choosing the road that I love best And that you won’t laugh at me.

Calling for you in shades of blue My hands shake from the cold Calling for aid in boldest jade My lips, the lies unfold Dreams of your bed in shades of red My eyes the passage paid Dreams of your love in palest dove My desperate body laid

It wasn’t if she stood up straight Or if she could retaliate It wasn’t if her eyes burned red Or if she flashed her claws instead

It wasn’t if she didn’t cry Or if she hated long goodbyes It wasn’t being lithe of limb Or fit and strong or quick and trim

It was that, deep inside her heart, Where treasured things lay in the dark Regardless of how her world turned: She let an ember of hope burn.

Every day seems to be the same: Smile, nod, squinch eyes, lift shoulders, wave goodbye, turn on heel, get in car Let face fall No more mask for a few minutes A few precious minutes Then in the front door Sigh, agree, nod at the right time, say yum delicious, clear the plates, retreat to room Let face fall No more mask til morning When the charade will start again.

When he was around Silence was a priceless gift It was something stolen Or something craved

Now that he is gone Silence is a stone in my stomach An empty buzzing Something to chase away

One note. Plunk. A chord. Pla-la-lunk. What is that song he’s playing on the radio? No. Plunk. Pla-la-lunk. Let’s do the second bar. Plunk. Pla-la…no.. pla… Did he pick up the banjo, is he playing along to— NO. Third bar. Third bar then go back. Plunk. Pla-la-lunk. Pla-la-pla-la… Did he say something about a tree? STOP IT. Plunk. Pla-la… Neighbor kid is crying. STOP. Plunk. Car is blasting pop-punk. SHHHHHH. Pl… Now he’s singing Footloose! I can’t. I can’t. I’m done. Three bars. Not even. I’m done.

This morning Lying in bed With the sun in his face For the first time in weeks He looked over and asked Was that your phone going off? It was birds singing in the tree outside.

They say We are hurtling Down.

I still wake each morning Put on my coffee Read my paper And sit at my window.

They say We are hurtling Down.

I still call to my neighbor Walk to my car Motor to work And sit at my window.

They say We are hurtling Down.

I still drive home in darkness Order in pizza Turn on the tv And sit at my window.

They say We are hurtling Down.

I still clean up my dishes Brew up some Twinings Pick up a novel And sit at my window.

Thunder claps Lightning snaps And I see Through my window The pavement Drawing Closer…

SPLAT.