I start every day by using cold water to wash my face I start grieving you when the windows open up And show me a green and blue world of small and large wonders And I recall that I left you in the dirt.

And I feel like a highway flower Battered by the roar and then wilted by the night Calling out my own name to the noone out there for me "Gloria, Gloria, Gloria"

As the summer comes to an end I can feel myself moving on From what I've done and haven't done

As the summer comes to an end I feel the feelings leaving me Floating away like dandelion seeds "Gloria, Gloria, Gloria" I'm not defined by mistakes as long as I make a change

"Gloria, Gloria, Gloria" I wish I've done you better, but I'm done and We're done.

Crows croaked a cacophony over the crowd. It a sickening reminder of city dissonance - cars and people all over the place, not a moment of peace. Sounds that never bothered us while running down nighttime streets, our heels clacking loudly on the cement, lips letting loose our cries and laughs of pure joy. Sweaty hands clasped together and not minding the grease and funk of that night. While warms hands held each other in brisk walks from our apartment to our errands in the bitter northern winters. While kissing your lipstick off like rough waves kissed the sands on the beach where we stayed through a week of bad weather. I remember spotting one mornings' mist clinging to your eyelashes and thinking that you are the most beautiful person I've ever known. This wilderness, right behind your parents' rural home, is one of the most beautiful places I've ever known, a fitting resting place for you. You'll still have the noise out here.

The new building is built There's a pond and a new shed too While nobody is buried in the soil I hear the ghosts of the man who built what was taken down My father when he was my age, another teenage douchebag just like me, he runs along the woods here Walking along with them is a strange and unfitting ending to all thats been accumulated An entire childhood and weekend trips with the wife and kids spent here like dimes in the rotting store down the bumpy gravel road Walking on an extremely uncomfortable cold morning, on another family's property She goes back to the car early because it is too frigid to stand with your husband for a few minutes while he says goodbye to a third of his life I stand and have empathy for the melancholy calm I know they miss their mom and dad especially right now One of the last pillars of an old life taken down

Yesterday A thundering whisper Shook me to my core The sound shriveled up all that was left of me

So today I will take my breaths evenly I will eat three meals I will go to work I will drive home safely I think I have finally worn down

I feel that I've given up Truly given up I don't have the will to leave my bedroom floor I cannot scrape together the means to be a person anymore

Another thundering whisper Struck the breath back into my body I won't just sit in my festering body anymore

I will always love you. But I told you "No" for a good reason I can love you so good but I am always leaving

I wish you the best I'll live for the glamour and the thrills and wins And one day she'll find you and she'll fit right in

I will always look for you Over my flashing lights and expensive clothes And the shiny cars and the lovers afterwards but She'll be the one handing you orange segments

I will promise you one thing, and I repeat: I will still call you, once a week 44 and 43 I will never leave you completely

Whispers on the wind told me that you're blowing it I'll tell you I have half a mind to desert you, right here right now Your mind is already mine Your flesh is already showing All I need to do is just sink my teeth in

Whispers on the wind told me you're acting up They told me that your envy's a ruthless lord I'd tell you that you're lovely, but I've already said it before

Pick yourself up I'm not doing it for you I'm recoiling at your every move Like moths to the light, you're not leaving soon

Whispers on the wind told me that you're grasping at straws to have an upper hand I'll tell you, if you want a game, you'll lose every time Scramble all you want, I can see it But I'm closing in You're too late to fuck it up and walk away unscathed

I've never felt the touch of the city as coldly as I do now, looking back All of the skyscrapers and gray roads and walls of concrete loom over my head like its pushing me down And I said I would take the records everywhere And songs of the spring soon became tied to the cold And I said I would call you every week, anywhere But my voice is buried within me, deeper than my bones And if I knew I would have become so meek and quiet here I don't know when I would have ever left home

And now that I'm standing, looking out on gray waters I wonder; when did my life become so monotone? When did I become less eccentric, what's left of the life I owned? I stare down a bluebird and remember the days and nights where I colored the scenes like his wings in the sky And I promised that I would take a piece of you everywhere, but I do regret taking us to a desolate plain. If I ever had to will to wish upon a star again, I'd wish for my sparkle back, for I've lost myself again.

Well how did we here? Sobbing while you yell at me Never give me a chance to explain it I'm too out of breath anyways

Well I just wanted love I told you I was seeing Eliza And then I told you it was Rose Maybe if you let me reasonably free I wouldn't find it so easy to lie straight through my teeth Maybe if I wasn't a fan of the thrill and feign freeness I wouldn't find it so easy to lie straight through my teeth

Then I wanted more He said "I am only yours" But I wanted more So I told him I wasn't seeing Charlotte Who even is Ivy? Maybe if I wasn't so desirable I wouldn't have to lie through my teeth Maybe if I wasn't a fan of loving people I wouln't have to lie through my teeth

Oh, I'm so greedy I just take all I can And now I'm in my mother's car sobbing She says she doesn't even know who I am You only know the one guy But I'm your little monster Flowers wilt when I walk by My throat hurts from screaming back

I only got my brightest hours Then I'm going down. Pray my glass heels don't shatter When its time to skip town.

We move through the crowd. Take my hands in yours. You say I'm the prettiest. I've say I've heard it before.

The birdsong speaks to me. In the aftermath. In the house turned prison. In the blue mornings. In the wake after the best dream I've ever had.

I had to go. Maybe its just not meant to be. Other people can do it, just not me. I should just wait for the next life Because I can't ever go back to you.

It was nice to meet you. Exciting to see you. I miss the glamour and the rage But none of that compares to you. It was nice to meet you.

Why would you say that to me? I feel it sinking into my bones. Shriveling up my soft petals and I watch as they detach and fall to the ground, much like the tenderness I used to feel for you.

I limp away to isolate myself like a wounded animal. Its weight seems to pull me to the ground. My eyes water, my throat closes, and God, it leaves me feeling miserably cold from the inside out.

It eats at all my kind and caring parts like corn off a cob, until I am left standing tall and hollow like an abandoned building. And then I mourn the pieces of me ripped away, because I don't want to be cold and angry I want to be happy. I want to love and be loved just like everybody else does.