I go to sleep in darkness, I wake up in darkness. I get changed in the darkness, I eat breakfast in the darkness. Every day I have to step out of the comfort of the darkness. I go out into the world, the light. I go to school, a school full of roses thriving in the light. I am just a weed, a parasite. I lie my head down and I close my eyes while the roses around me chatter to one another. They enjoy the light. I do not, I hate the light. I destroyed my light, my rose. I am just a weed. Like weeds, I grab and choke and squeeze the life out of fhe pretty roses until they have no more hope. The other roses can’t save them, The light can’t save them. I took the life from my rose. My dead rose.

I cry. No, I sob. If I would have known that was the last hug I will have ever given you, I would have never let you go. Are you crying too? Do you miss me like I miss you? I long for you, Your love and your words of wisdom. Being parted from you hurts. YOU leaving ME hurts. But the part that hurts the most is the fact that you don’t even care. My absence means nothing to you. One day I will be great, and by then you will be too late to call me your own. But until then, I will mourn.

I want him. My heart longs for him. But I know he wants her, He desires her. I watch as he watches her. I admire him as he admires her. I am nothing like her. He will never look at me that way. Her skin is flawless, Her hands are delicate, Her skin is smooth. I have eye bags, My fingers are fat, My skin is rough. But I want him. My head tells me, "It’s not worth it, Don’t put yourself through this." But my heart tells me, "Try."