“I have created a monster” The first thing I heard When I was brought back to life

I looked down at my hands One eye pointed at the floor The other at these odd limbs These are not my hands They are not matching One rotten and green The other Bare bone

My vision still foggy I recall what had happened What you had done to me

We were staring at the stars Both leaning against the rail Of this rusted bridge You said everything would be okay I believed you

You put your hand on my back A sweet sentiment turned bitter What I thought was Butterflies in my stomach Was really a drop of forty five feet A plunge into an icy Shallow Stream What a shame

As I recall this horror You stare at me in disgust From across this cement room As if you didn’t cause this

I step off of this platform I walk as quickly as I can With my new legs They are uneven and weak With stitches and bruises

What have you done

I make my way to the mirror I was beautiful

What have you done?

My face beaten and bloody One eye blood shot The other out of the socket Pointed downward At this dreary floor My lips torn and purple

I think it is your turn You could use some Modifications

The birds crow a weeping melody Trees clean of leaves Ground fresh with snow The black birds stick out against the white sky They fly above With care for the creatures below Singing a weeping melody To cleanse them of their sorrow

I need to confess something I did it Now pass the wine

Pass it all the way around the table Each and everyone of you Needs to go out of your way To please me with wine

You have made me suffer enough I deserve to inconvenience you At least once After all You don’t want to end up like her

Our friend She did always have An intrest in flowers And dirt She did like to read head stones aswell How convenient

It would be smart of you to pass the wine Each and everyone of you

Cherry, I know you love roses And granite Correct?

Slone, A fan of daisies and lilies So pure and clean

Gracie, You did always talk about hibiscus They do symbolize dying young Wouldn’t that be nice to use In a memorial speech?

And don’t think I forgot about you hot shot Your betrayal hurt worst of all I’m sure you didn’t mean it that way I’m tired, Darius

Darius, I payed very close attention to your interests Gotta hand it to you You made it tricky You like hydrangeas Out of season And so fickle

Why was it so hard to Find your favorite flower When your other interests were more Prominent

Just like how everyone could see That you cared for Freya More than you cared about me

That wasn’t why I got rid of her, though I knew each and everyone of you We’re plotting to toss me out first I had to put a leg in

Freya was near and dear to all of us All of you She warmed our hearts And our stomachs I hope you all enjoyed dinner Thank you for the wine Each and everyone of you

What happened I knew I should not have left you I was meant to protect you I have failed you, mom

What is this red? Why are you on the floor? Mom? Say something please

It has leaked onto my paws Mom? You always sleep at the worst times I will help you I will get this pool of red off of you I will save you

You will give me pats And head scratches We can cuddle later Or now I will lay upon your now red dress We can sleep together I love you, mom

A landing is meant to be calming It’s not my fault I am not a butterfly or dragonfly I am ordinary I am just a fly No butter or dragon about me

When I land I fear for my safety It isn’t my fault Although my compound vision Makes it hard to see I see it plain and clear I was born inferior No pretty wings or interesting body I am simply small and round

Landing is supposed to be a break But it isn’t I can’t just sit I need to be alert Twenty four seven Or I will be squished

Why don’t people like me? I mind my own business Next thing you know Splat

I wish to hold you I’m not sure when or how, but I must find a way You look like you need someone And that person could be me

…

Stay away from me Don’t get me wrong, I love you Like, as a sister I have a wife who I love I’d do anything for her

I am honest I work hard I put my blood Sweat And tears into what I deem worthy I try my best everyday

You twist my words And weave them into cruelty I work my best You outshine me You put in no effort into your work Your only inspiration is Your urgency to be the best

Your urgency to be the best Always racing ahead of me With ease Your sick smirk as you pass me in my passion Tirelessly I reach for the spotlight I deserve

I deserve this I truly do You cannot imagine how hard I work Everyday I better myself Everyday you only walk forward To see me biting your dust

Oh how I want to Break your legs To pass you How I want to Rip your mouth from your face To never hear your cocky voicd again How I want to Shove your hand Into the spindle you weave your lies on To make people see me how I deserve to be seen

I want to be seen how I deserve to be seen You cut off my ties to the people I care about You feed them your slop And bundle them in you warm blanket of lies The one that paints me as cruel

Now I will paint the picture A picture in dark red paint Soon you won’t be able to do this anymore I need to see you hurt Not a mental spiral I need to see you hurt I need to feel you hurting There must be tears There must be some kind of reward For me finally standing up to you

Maybe you not being around Is reward enough

I can’t take this anymore You pressure me as if it’s nothing for you You do not see how your actions Affect other people With no regard for me No regard for our friends My friends

I was a kid once Do you ever think about that? Before you push me around Think of the little girl you are hurting too Would you still do that to her?

I bet you would, wouldn’t you? The look on your face says it all You simply don’t care

Don’t care about my friends Our friends Me

You have made it clear I see the way you look at me You make it Too clear You advance and pressure me As if it is nothing

You need to learn Soon enough All of this will catch up to you eventually One day

I hope to see the day where you Are the one left in shambles With nothing All you have is your cold self On the floor Alone

You have no respect Sense of self I hate that I pity you I hate that I can still tolerate this I have put up with this With you For too long

I hope to see the day where you are Cold Alone But also Where you learn how you have hurt me

This day won’t come Not for a long time If ever

You have taught me that hope means nothing

You need to learn If you don’t All that you have put me through means nothing

The way you pressure me And advance I am too tired

Do you EVER consider anyone other than yourself?

I can’t take this anymore You pressure me as if it is nothing for you Because it is nothing You feel nothing It means nothing To you

You will truly never see how your actions Affect other people I know you have no regard for me Or our friends

“Our” friends They know what you did There is no “our” They have made it very clear who they believe I can’t believe Through everything we have all been through Curly still takes your side I thought he was observant And was good at staying open minded He is only that way when it is convenient for him. I can’t believe it I thought he cared about me At least the others do

Next time you try to hurt me And tear me down Remember I was a kid once, too Remember When you hurt me You hurt her, too

Don’t give me that look But that look says it all You don’t care Typical

I hope one day you learn How to Take Responsibility.

When I died My shadow decided they would take over I watched carefully Knowing I could not brace for what my shadow would do Knowing I couldn’t apologize for all they would hurt

They spoke crudely They did not hold back their emotions

Even though I was dead I had never felt so alive in my body They spoke crudely But they spoke the truth Something I could not do myself

I admired that I wish I had lived that way

Now I have realized I am the true shadow I was the one hiding from myself When really The one following me Was the one who should have lead

Maybe I would’ve lived happier if I had lived Speaking my truth To be bold like my shadow knew I never could have

(Picture a grumpy old man, and 19 year old boy)

With your still-shining eyes Which I cannot look into The glow that I can no longer find in myself

The spark I once had The spark you hold in your heart So much so it cannot be contained there Showering your sparks upon the rest of us So sickeningly sweet Not even I was this sweet And full of life

I wish I was still like you Yet at the same time Through all I have loved All that I have lost as well I have learned everything that makes me special I like the sourness that comes with age

These wrinkles and lines cannot be made Without the experiences And tragedies I have seen You live with spirit and joy But are oblivious Your shine blocks your view

When I met you You were a spark of sun In a world of pain You were too old to act foolish You were too young for this line of work You didn’t let that slow you

Your still-shining eyes blinding you From anything too harsh Or too dangerous From the real world The real line of work you signed up for You never let that stop you

You shined So bright Even the sun was jealous

You let your still-shining eyes And sickeningly sweet smile Get ahead of yourself You couldn’t see the dark And danger in front of you

Didn’t your parents ever tell you what to do When a stranger wants you to do something That you know is bad

Didn’t your parents ever tell you what to do When someone wants you to do something That they warned you about

I’ll teach you Do not succumb to peer pressure It can be the last decision you will make

How could you know You were too old to be foolish But too young to leave your pride And your spark behind

You shined So bright Even the sun was jealous The sun doesn’t take well to jealousy

You shined Too bright The sun winced at your sweetness Too pure even for the sun

The dark and danger in front of you That had been blocked from your view Was a black hole of a man Sent by the Sun Sent to dull your spark You fed into the lies Which were twisted and turned by your spark

Your inability to see the truth The real danger in front of you A lie Twisted into a fantasy One with pride And acceptance

You took it as soon as you could Got pulled into this black hole of a man Sent by the Sun Sent to dull your spark

What in this world isn’t

I can’t help but feel that I met you too late I taught you what I could It was too late You lost your spark Your shine Your sweetness You were a shell of the kid I knew before

I can’t help but feel that I fed into this black hole I gave a part of myself aswell Too many breaths wasted on that shell of a man A shell of a man who once shined bright as well Taken over by greed Twisted and disfigured Into a black hole of a man

You didn’t deserve this You didn’t need to give up your spark To make me proud I miss the sparky kid I knew before

You became so dull So serious So dead I could not bear to see you like this I had to let you go There was no saving this spark

Some sparks cannot be rekindled

I thought you were useless before Thought you were too bright for your own good I was sort of right You weren’t too bright In the sense that you weren’t enough You were too bright In the sense that you couldn’t see what was ahead You let your kindness obscure your view You weren’t useless I should have told you that more

I miss the sunshine you had before

… A sequel to my Daisuke🌺 poem