“I dreamed about a lion.”
I was sitting on the top bunk, my feet dangling from the side. The prison had been on lockdown for four days now. Tony, my cellie, was sitting at the small table bolted to the wall. He was flipping through an old magazine. Four days is a long time to be locked in a 6-by-8-foot cell.
“A lion? Are you crazy, man?” Tony jumped up, animated as always, rumbling on about how crazy my dreams could be. That was just Tony. A short, stout guy with an unstoppable mouth. He loved to talk, which meant most of the men—and even the guards—did their best to avoid being trapped in a conversation with him. Tony would say “hi” to someone, and they’d mutter something unintelligible just to keep him moving. But every now and then, he’d catch a new guy. We called new prisoners “fish” (I never knew why, and I didn’t ask). Tony would talk their ears off until they called yard close.
“I wasn’t scared,” I said, cutting through Tony’s rambling.
He froze, giving me a quizzical look.
“The lion was pacing back and forth in front of me,” I rushed on, trying to get it out before Tony interrupted. “I felt like I was being protected—”
“What?” Tony couldn’t help himself. “Man, that lion was gonna tear you up!”
And just like that, Tony was off again, his voice filling the cell. His words sounded distant to me, though.
Because the truth was, I hadn’t been afraid of the lion. I could have reached out and touched its mane if I wanted to. It didn’t roar or do anything scary. It just paced in front of me, powerful and calm, like a mighty protector.
I didn’t say it out loud, but the first thought I had when I woke from that dream was: I never belonged here anyway.