I shut the door to my car with approximately twenty five percent more force than usual. A scoff of air emerges from my body as I remember the way the pink man’s spittle gathered at both corners of his mouth as he uttered in frivolous corporate doublespeak. Due to public outrage, the broken nitro cold brew tap in the break room promises to be repaired by next week’s end. A man of the people.

Consi...