My world had ended Just when my mother went out that door And never came back. My world had ended When my father decided to lose himself.
My world started again When I went to college And made good friends. My world started again When I learned to live my life Rather than dwell in the past.
But to forget was to forgive And I knew I would never forget.
I’ll finally do it. Science has surely evolved. Now we can now the cause of our death as a dream just by putting on some lotion in our eyelids before sleeping. My sister put in on a few weeks ago. Turns out she’ll go to hell by a car crash. She said she didn’t look that old in the dream. When she finally recovered from the reality check, she tried convincing me to put on the dammed lotion. I can’t say I wasn’t curious myself. The only reason I haven’t done it yet was because of my cowardice. I guess it’s time now. After washing my face, I take the lotion box in my hands. After over thinking for at least 20 minutes, I finally put it on. I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep if I keep thinking like this.
I’m alone in my house. It’s dark. Am I running? Why do I look scared? I hear other footsteps. I’m still running until someone catches me. Someone turns me around but I’m not able to clearly see their face. They raise their other arm? What is that in their hand? Oh wait-. The person’s hand swiftly jerks towards me.
I jolt up. I can feel sweat in my forehead. I look around and I’m still in my room. Not knowing how to feel right now, I try to make sense of the dream. Did I get murdered? Will I get murdered? No. I can’t die like that. Who would even do that to me? I go down to the kitchen to get some water. I try not to make any sound but then remember I’m alone tonight. My parents are out for work and my sister has the night shift at the hospital. Wait. I’m alone tonight. The first thing I do is put on all the lights. That’s the first step to safety. At least in my opinion. I get water and run back upstairs to my room. Lights are gonna stay on no matter what. Until they won’t. The power went out. Does that even happen theses days? Okay. Today is the day I die. I hear footsteps behind me. My heart beat goes up. Okay. I knew this was coming. I know death is unavoidable. I know I can’t do anything against this. But the sad thing is no one will find my body until tomorrow. Even if there’s a chance that I wouldn’t die by the knife, it would still be too late until they find me. But I already knew that. I was always the unlucky one.
All my life, the one thing I dreaded the most was change. I hated the idea of something in my life not staying the same anymore, because I loved the way things were. But here I am in my doorway, at 5:00 AM, being the change in my best friend’s life. And I am too much of a coward to even say goodbye.
When you shut yourself up And think you can’t do something anymore Look back to the mountain you’ve climbed, And the things you’ve accomplished. Think back to all the thank yous you’ve received, And all the grateful smiles you’ve created. Then you will realize How much you have already done And how much more you can do.