i'd like to lay down in a meadow and feel the evening dew dampen my back
I want to hear the chatter of the katydids and watch a ladybug tiptoe on my fingernail
i'd look at the stars overhead, shining like little gypsums and cosmic agates, and i'd say to them, 'how i've longed to see you'
i'd reach out to the tall grass, the wildflowers framing my vision, and my hands would memorize the feel of satin blades velvet petals fuzzy stems
the air would smell of vanilla and musk
and i'd breathe in and out again, letting myself rest between the gentle earth and brillant expanse of night
There was only a moment of calm before it started. Choas made haste with his arrival, and soon a cacophony of screams and breaking things rose high in the space around me. Worn books, old knick-knacks and still occupied vases beat the walls as they violently sailed across the room. Tables and chairs were flipped and smashed against against one another, while dressers were overturned and doors littered with dents and holes. The broken song of destruction rang loud in my ears as I watched with wild eyes the constant spray of glass and splintered wood cover the floor. I felt a dull pain in my leg, but I didn't look to see what it was. The turmoil pressed on and I didn't try to stop it. I gave in to it before I stepped through the door. I would let it take whatever it wanted; hurt me however it saw fit.
When the last fallen object joined the rest, I took my own place among the ruin. I sat down and felt the silence settle over my shoulders. As I looked over all the sad and broken things, my eyes fell on one of the few items left standing: a picture frame. I stared at it for a long while, neatly tucked in its corner on the bookshelf, and I thought about why I did what I did.
"It doesn't feel like a home without you here," I heard myself whisper.
Then, for the first time, I let myself grieve. The shattered glass and broken furniture made it seem like a tornado had passed through, but it was something much worse: our life had been taken from us before we had the chance to live it. We ran out of time far too quickly. And as I wept, I wondered if this is what it was to be human, if all that's meant for us is to create a life for ourselves, only to lose it; to build a home, only to tear it down again.
“Would you be angry if I died?” “I wouldn’t know how to deal with myself.” “Would you be sad, then, if I died?” “I’d be able to bear it if it were anyone else.”
“What would you do if I ceased to be?” “I’d have to come get you, Eurydice. I’d dive deep in the Underworld, And beg Hades to set you free.”
“But Orpheus failed; He didn’t wait long enough.” “Then I’ll learn from his mistake, And be patient in the rough.”
“What if I don’t want you to save me? What if I want to stay where I am? What if I’m ready to leave- Ready to let go of your hand?”
“How can a person live without a heart, Or breathe with no lungs? How would I even speak if you left? Even if I had ten thousand tongues?”
“I’ve stayed alive for you, For so many years.” “That’s what we do- stay alive for each other; We bear the bad weather until the fog clears.”
“Is it not my right to choose life or death?” “It is any human’s right give up their breath.”
“So let me go, my love. Why do you hold me so? “I need you here with me, I need you the most.”
“You’ll be okay while I’m gone. You’ll find another to cherish. Things will be alright Until you also perish.
We’ll see each other again, That I guarantee, And as you wait for the time to come,”
“I love you.”
“Just breathe.”
