This is truly hard, to see your truth fade like the sand on a beach. Shouldn’t I have told you sooner? yes. Did I try to? yes. Am I doing this this to breathe? yes. His final question was why now? why did you wait to make me shed tears and wait for me to be broken like the old tv stored away and left to rot away? but guess what? that was the truth about me. That I am a liar, a fake, and a hurt machine. So now you know why now.

i feel down, oh so lost. how will i cope your loss? passes by, and it doesn’t get any better. i continue to mourn in the light breeze. there is nothing else i want to see, but the smile on your face, but i wither away every time i feel like this and little by little i realize that i am lost and alone. crying doesn’t help but i can’t stop. it’s been so long, but it won’t end. how have i come to this? i feel like an empty vessel in the world. I need to get up and breathe and eyes to see that i lost one thing but i decided to lose more. It’s time to go into the real world.

This is that one day. That one day I prayed for. That one day that I’d wanted to see start, but… now I want to end? Do I want to cry, or hate, or fake? when it comes it’s not picture perfect and not what they promised. I don’t know why. Why I tried to think it was all fine when it’s not. i’m done. i’m over. i’m finished. So i guesss this is the start of pain.