sometimes during the day, i long for the stars

stars that used to burn bright and hot at night

stars that used to twinkle in the sky

stars that littered the black canvas in our galaxy

stars that formed shapes in the heavens

stars that have started vanishing in the light

stars that we can hardly see anymore

stars that we draw on paper and see in our dreams

stars that we long for

they are not the same as they used to be, our stars

you where a gift from when i was young

i was happier then, so carefree and creative

everything was just alive back then

oh how things have changed

looking back, i don’t even know why i kept you

you are a raggedy, old stuffed bear that served me no purpose

you’re useless

i held you over the trash, my hand clasped tightly around your neck

your eyes that where barely hanging on gleamed back at me, staring into my soul

i could nearly hear myself playing with you all those years ago

“oh you silly old bear!” i’d giggle as you danced along the floor, twirling like a ballerina just for me

just for me…

i frowned, gripping at your neck tighter. you’re head tilted to the side and your old smile turned lopsided

why couldn’t i let go?

it should be so easy!

the once yellow fur was darker from being carried everywhere. your nose was smudged away and your little limbs barely hung on.

my grip loosened

your eyes smiled at me

you don’t have eyes. they are just dots.

then why did they look so sad?

your head slowly lifted up as your furry arms grasped at mine desperately

your smile turned upside down and your brows furrowed at me

“oh silly! you can’t leave me!” you exclaimed quickly

i gasped, dropping you into the bin. i backed away hurriedly, my back slamming against the brick wall

you climbed out of the trash as i watched in horror. you crawled onto the wood box next to it, dusting yourself off in a dignified manner

i shakily pointed at you… it… THE THING

“what?” was all i managed to come up with

you smiled at me. “hello old friend.” you said sadly. “are you alright?”

my mouth was open wide in horror. “how are you-”

“talking?”

i nodded slowly.

you shrugged, fixing your red shirt. “i’m not so sure…” you trailed off, smiling again at me. “there is no need to be scared, don’t you remember the fun we had?”

i scrambled my mind for answers as you stared back at me, brown eyes- no dots taking a look at my soul

“w-what?” i asked again as you frowned sadly.

“do you not remember, old pal?” you pried and i shook my head wildly

“no you silly old bear!” i cried and your face lit up with joy

“looks like you do remember something…”

i let out a cry of frustration. “what are you on, you… you-”

you smiled. “yes?”

“stop it!”

“okay.”

i groaned in confusion. “what the hell is wrong with me?” i buried my head in my hands

you sighed as your red shirt whistled in the cool wind. “nothing my old friend… you’re just you.”

i snorted. “yeah, okay.”

“you really don’t remember any of it, so you?”

i sunk to a sitting position. “remember what?” i asked for the second time as you smiled for the millionth

“all of your friends, Christopher Robin.”

my eyes widened and shivers shot down my spine as goosebumps prickled at my skin.

“Pooh?” i asked, my voice shaking

you smiled, nodding sadly. “hello old friend.”

“CHRISTOPHER!” a voice shouted, shaking me awake

i jolted to, sitting up and glancing around wildly for you.

“WHERE IS HE?” i yelled, shoving the white clothed man away

he stumbled away. “who!??”

“Pooh! Winnie the Pooh!” i screamed as the man stared at me in worry

“i’m calling the psychiatrist.”

“what, why?”

“i’m worried your schizophrenia is getting worse.”

i noticed you when i was six you’re long fingers loved to scratch against the walls

at first i was scared

i would hide under the covers, praying that you would go away

you would whisper silently “it’s okay.”

i believed then that you where a liar with you’re tail that seemingly burned with fire

you chilled in my walls while i was asleep not even daring to take a peek

i didn’t know then how could i?

i didn’t know that the man in my closet was the real spy

he would chitter his teeth as his sockets gleamed red

“come out and play with me,” he said

he would tap his fingers against the door, his nails filled with lead

whenever i heard his voice i cried for help with dread

you would roar with glory, scaring the gorey creature away

he spied from the closet

you protected the walls

i named him Corey

you where Glory

when i thought i was safe, Corey would chitter his yellow teeth, his soulless sockets empty

then you, Glory, would save me from my fiend

and after a while, Corey vanished, unable to scare me when you where near

“freedom at last!” i cried, thrilled from the victory

but when i knocked on the walls i realized you where no where with me