The sun emerges from behind a cloud, and ite radiant beams reflect on his face. His dark curls fly in the breeze, and I reach over and tuck them behind his ear. His green eyes seem to glow in the light, and he squints, turning to face me. “Why are you smiling like that?” he asks teasingly when he sees my infectious smirk. I glance up at the sky, giggling a little. “No reason.” We sit in silence for a few seconds, just savoring the moment. Suddenly, he nudges me and points up at the bold, beautiful sky speckled with bright white clouds. “See that one?” he says, grinning slightly. “It looks like an owl.” I furrow my brow. “An owl? I don’t see it.” “Maybe you’re just not creative enough,” he remarks, poking me lightly. Feeling the sun’s heat on my face, I close my eyes and exhale. I hadn’t realized how much I longed for moments like this one. The two of us were acting a bitchildish, but it was nice to let loose for once. “What are you thinking about?” he asks me, tilting his head. “How much I missed you… how much I missed this…” I respond, lacing my fingers through his. “I couldn’t bear having you gone.”Sighing, he squeezes my hand firmly. “Well, I’m here now. And from now on, we’ll never be separated.” I lean my head against his chest, breathing in the scent of the spring flowers around us. We rest contentedly in the meadow for a while. Everything feels so right, and I know nothing can ruin my happiness. This is where I belong.

4-6-2057

Dear diary, today I took the 80th and 81st souls. Not a very productive day, but at least there are only 19 more until I get to see him again. Of course, that stupid superhero- the Ice Raven, or whatever his silly name is, keeps getting in my way. Someday I’m going to give that boy what he deserves. They all call him a hero, but they have no idea what he’s doing to me. He’s keeping me from the only person I truly need in this world. The “superhero” may be saving lives, but he’s making mine miserable. At first I despised killing. It made me feel guilty. It made me feel like a monster. But as I took more innocent lives, I realized that it’s not so terrible. In fact, I’ve come to be fond of it. It feels so natural now, like walking or riding a bike. I made a promise to myself that no matter what happened, I would not enjoy what I had to do, but clearly, I went against my word. In my defense, I can’t be blamed entirely. When the whole world sees you as a villain, you have no choice but to become one. To conform to their expectations. Plus, it’s what he needs. 100 souls to revive him. A price I’m willing to pay. Everything will be so much better once he’s back with me. And who knows? Maybe when my beloved is back in this world, I’ll take more lives. Just for the fun of it. Because I am a monster. And I’ve learned to love it.

I take a deep breath. Swallowing down a terrifying mixture of emotions and worries, I lean forward and close my eyes. What’s the worst thing that could happen? It’s a virtual world. There’s no chance I could be hurt or anything… Every twenty-one year old goes through this process, and most of them have been completely fine. Why would I be any different? I’ve worked my whole life for this… I’ve been a good person. I’ve given to charity. Put up with intolerable people. Helped out the poor and sick. My morality is unquestionable, for the most part. So why am I so nervous? I put my head in my hands, trying to calm myself down. I inhale, then exhale slowly. I’ll be safe. Nothing will happen.

    An olive skinned lady with raven black hair walks into the waiting room. “Paisley Ashford?” she calls in a loud voice. My heart beats faster. I wipe my sweaty hands on my pants and stand up. I walk over to the lady and she gives me a kind smile. “Are you ready?” she asks, but I know that if I say I’m not I’ll be whisked away to a new world anyways. There is no escaping this. I nod a little too vigorously, and she senses my discomfort. “Don’t worry…” the woman trills. “Everything will be okay. Follow me.” The lady scrawls a few notes on her pink clipboard, and hastily starts walking. She leads me into a dark, rather small room with no furniture nor decorations. The only thing in the room is a uncomfortable looking chair, with a VR headset resting on it. I pause in the doorway and take in the room. I’ll be here for a year. A whole year. Without my family, without my friends, but instead in a whole different world. The olive skinned woman gestures to the chair. I trudge over to the it, my legs feeling limp like noodles. I exhale shakily, before sitting down. The lady stands in the doorway and watches as I pull the headset over my eyes. Then I hear her footsteps retreating down the hallway. 

     Darkness. All I see is black. I start to have doubts. I don’t want to do this. Panic sets in, and I reach up to take the headset off, but I can’t. It’s like it’s glued to my head. There really is no escaping this. I ball my hands up into fists so tight that my fingernails dig into my skin. There are a few more seconds of darkness before a world comes roaring to life in front of my eyes. Inhale. Exhale. I can do this. This might even be easy. That’s what I thought. Looking back on it, I could never been more wrong.

Life without you, It would be so blue, A book without pages, Grass without dew, A tree without leaves, False without true, Salt without pepper, A life without you.

You are my rock, You keep me strong My firm foundation, When the world’s wrong, You are my home, My refuge and truth, What will I do, If I ever lose you?