The boy loaded a gun he didn’t know if he wanted his life. he kept thinking to himself is this right? His mind filled with only one thought. It was suicide he wanted to take all the pain away. And he thought that that morning was a perfect day. As it was raining and storming he kept thinking In his room I’m gonna of this today. no matter what somebody says . As he grabbed the gun and pulled the trigger the gun jammed he pulled the trigger one more time thinking this was maybe a sign. It jammed again then he suddenly said “third times the charm” as he pointed it as his head thinking how he was gonna end up dead. He then started gathering memories thinking how his family would feel. How this would hurt them how they would never see him again. He didn’t care his mind was set he was gonna do it no matter what. Even if his family was in his thoughts. He pulled the trigger this time it hit. He then regretted it all as his head hit against the wall. He was breathing still it wasent a fatal shot since it hit the eye. He then remembered how bad he wanted to die. The only thing the boy wanted now is to stay alive. As the boy started screaming he only woke up and saw that he was dreaming. As he wept in his bed thinking how in his dream he was dead. He then thought what if it had happend this wasn’t the first time he’s felt alone. Like if he had nowhere to go not even his home. He felt so empty inside that’s why he always wanted to die. A drained boy whose feelings have always been played with like a toy. He had a reason to do it he just never came through with it. He was sad for the rest of the night he decided he was gonna try slitting his wrist and he put his hand in a fist he looked away grabbed the knife and was ready. Thinking how deadly this would be though thinking if he was just some deppresed hoe. He kept asking for help in his mind how he wishes this never helped if he could just rewind the time. As he said not even Jesus can save me in his mind he then heard a guy shivers went right down his spine. It was Jesus himself oh how the boy felt. He felt relief and true happiness he trembled with fear since he thought he would be mad or sad at him. Jesus the said “your life is the most precious thing I gave you and you wanna take that away”? The boy didn’t know what to say the lord was in his room the boy was in shock and in such bloom to hear those words Jesus said seek after me and you will get happiness and I will help since I’m always there for you my dear child.

I get off school with one thought on my mind. Suicide what can I ever do that will get me through. I look at the rain thinking about all my pain. As I look at my arms all cut up I then remind myself I have my lord and savior which changed my whole behavior. That put a smile on my face and I get to live with him for the rest of eternity anyway.