ꀤ𝓈𝒶 𝒥𝓊𝓁𝑒𝓈

My full name is 𝙸𝚜𝚊𝚋𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚊. I love to read & write. I play piano and I dance. I am a Christian ✞ a teen and half Brazilian-half American ㋛ “No matter what, do not be afraid of the darkness, for wherever it goes, light will shortly follow.” ~ꀤ𝓈𝒶 𝒥𝓊𝓁𝑒𝓈

ꀤ𝓈𝒶 𝒥𝓊𝓁𝑒𝓈

Look, See, Meet

ꀤ𝓈𝒶 𝒥𝓊𝓁𝑒𝓈

1 min read

I look He sees Our eyes meet

Across the room Full of people that Never seemed emptier

Standing on opposite sides Away from the crowd that takes Most of the space left in the room

For a moment the Full room doesn’t Seem so vacant

For a second I don’t feel So alone

For a minute I enjoy being Lonely together

Even if he’s just a Random stranger

Who looked While I saw As our eyes met

Poetry

Romance

ᴡʜᴏ ᴀʀᴇ ᴡᴇ

ꀤ𝓈𝒶 𝒥𝓊𝓁𝑒𝓈

1 min read

Who are we, When no one’s watching?

When the mask is no more, What’s left behind it?

Could it be…

A teenager trying to move on from A life she choose to leave behind

The child we once were who is still Afraid of what could be lurking in the dark

A foolish girl wishing to meet Someone and fall in love

A writer whose deepest thoughts and Feelings are expressed through her writing

An overly empathetic person Who cries over movies and books

A believer who is struggling to find The will to make time for Jesus

Somebody who is scared Of being all alone

Whose thoughts can be So loud and overwhelming

And the voices of all those Who hurt us come back

Do we end up listening When no one is watching

When the mask Is left behind

Do we just become everything we’re Scared to admit or be in front of others

When no one’s watching, Who are we

Poetry

𝚀𝚞𝚒𝚎𝚝 𝙽𝚘𝚝 𝙱𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚍

ꀤ𝓈𝒶 𝒥𝓊𝓁𝑒𝓈

1 min read

I was quiet, but I was not blind

I always knew what They would say

No matter How silent

But I stayed And listened

I never said a word Bad about y’all

I was always there for My supposed ‘Best Friends’

Did whatever to make yall Happy even if it hurt me

It did hurt me mentally in a Way I never believed it could

Haven’t seen or heard From yall in over a year

Quite refreshing I have to say

Trying to Heal everyday

Four years of putting up with Yall has made quite the impact

You were already beginning To turn on each other

I’m glad I have much Better friends now

And is in a bit better Mental place

Your words Mean nothing to me

I can sometimes look at Myself and think I look pretty

Not stare at the imperfections You would point out

Whether it was too my Face or behind my back

I always knew What yall said

But I never said Anything in return because

I was quiet, but I was not blind

Poetry

Drama

Beautiful Chaos

ꀤ𝓈𝒶 𝒥𝓊𝓁𝑒𝓈

1 min read

I was alone—calm in the chaos. Anyone else would have been freaking out, running and trying to escape. But to me, this almost felt peaceful.

I could die, the voice in my head reminds me, but even so, I’m too mesmerized to move away. If anything, I want, no need, to get closer.

It was beautiful. The lights that moved from the sky to the ground, rushing the darkness away. I felt like a moth drawn to a flame.

I thought of the saying, “Lightning never strikes the same place twice,” as I watched that theory quickly get disproven.

How does it feel to be struck? Would I survive being hit twice? Probably not. Something so beautiful couldn’t be that bad. Could it?

I looked up and saw the lightning coming down toward me. I raised my hand to help it reach me faster. I know what they say: “Curiosity killed the cat,” but I believe I must have some kind of death wish.

In less than a moment, I felt a million bolts of electricity enter my body. I had never felt a pain so awakening before.

Black dots started appearing as it felt like I was struck again. The pain felt twenty times worse but lasted only a second before everything went dark. The last thing I did was take one final look at the beautiful chaos happening around me.

Mystery

Horror

A Golden Afternoon

ꀤ𝓈𝒶 𝒥𝓊𝓁𝑒𝓈

1 min read

All in a golden afternoon, Under the skies of cloudless blue.

I stand here not Really sure what to do

To some I must Look lost in thought

But my mind feels empty And my heart is numb

There is a faint Feeling of sadness

It helps me Feel alive

I feel the cool heavy Wind blow my hair everywhere

I watch the Waves under me

And listen to the Sound of it hitting the rocks

I never realize that I Had sat down

Or that the wetness slowly falling Down my cheek wasn’t the Ocean water splashing onto me

I stay here all in a golden afternoon, Under the skies of cloudless blue

Poetry

Drama

Not Just Yet

ꀤ𝓈𝒶 𝒥𝓊𝓁𝑒𝓈

1 min read

I’m not ready To move on just yet

Let me pretend Only for a little while

I understand that nothing Will ever be the same

Yet again I’m by myself

But I’ll be in my own world Playing make-believe

Now I’ll never Have to let go

Or be All alone

I’ll go back Not exactly to the start

But to the time when I Wasn’t sure if I loved you yet

Things seemed so Much simpler than

If I hadn’t had met you I Wouldn’t have felt all this Love or pain but now Everything feels the same

Close my eyes and imagine Being back in your warm arms

I stay quiet just Listening to you talk

Yet now I can’t exactly Remember your voice

Or feel the heat Of your warmth

Make-beliving you’re here Doesn’t seem to work

I’m not ready to Move on just yet

So I’ll be waiting here like I’ve Done since the day we’ve first met

Poetry

Drama

Hiding Place

ꀤ𝓈𝒶 𝒥𝓊𝓁𝑒𝓈

1 min read

Pass the mountains And the trees

The rivers And valleys

The ocean currents And the raging winds

Away from Winter’s first snow

And the drizzled Rain of spring

Far from heatwaves That welcomed summer

And the leaves waving Goodbye to autumn

Shielded from the Chaos of my mind

And the things That make tears fall

So deep and lost I can’t Seem to find myself at all

Just another game Of hide and seek

Yet I’m hiding Myself from me

It’s deep within farther Then the eye can see

Let me be the First to introduce you

To the place which is Hardest to seek

Poetry

Drama

𝔸𝕝𝕝 𝕆𝕟 𝕐𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕆𝕨𝕟

ꀤ𝓈𝒶 𝒥𝓊𝓁𝑒𝓈

1 min read

What’s life without Some adventure, They say

What’s life without a Little trauma, they say

What’s life Without Jesus, I say

Life’s difficult when Trying to live it by yourself

Yet I am Terrified to be All alone

I continuously try To remind myself

That I can’t be alone When He’s always By my side

I’d rather have Him by my side,

Than be barely Living this life Without hope

Plus who will be there With me when I break

Or put someone In my life to be there To help catch me when I fall

Poetry

Love Against All

ꀤ𝓈𝒶 𝒥𝓊𝓁𝑒𝓈

1 min read

Love against all odds What a feeling

To love something, Someone so strongly

A love so great You’d do anything

A love so large that Consequences mean Nothing in comparison

When the world
Tells you no but you’re Crazy enough to say yes

You no longer care about What may come your way

A love against all odds That’s what we had

Maybe we loved Each other too fiercely

Maybe we didn’t love Each other enough

Maybe if we didn’t love Each other as much You’d still be here

So what if there would be Something missing

At least you would Still be alive…

Even if I wouldn’t

Poetry

Drama

Tʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ

ꀤ𝓈𝒶 𝒥𝓊𝓁𝑒𝓈

1 min read

You never asked, But… Thank you for all you’ve done

You know everything About me

My sins, My failures, My thoughts, My weaknesses

Yet you never Gave up on me

Even when I Complain and cry

You love me, even when I couldn’t love myself

All you ask is for Praise and worship

And for us to make Disciples out of people

And even though, Jesus, You have never asked, Thank you for everything

Poetry