Some days I look to the Sun as a guide Replicating her warmth and overpowering with light Burning through the pieces that love me Simply from holding them too tight

The crisp white snow clenched tightly to the familiar paths I know home lush layers of green grass. I gaze at the Sky while inhaling the crisp air. The stars sparkle back at me with the brightest flames, almost as if reflecting off the blankets of white so peacefully below them. The moon flashes her silver smirk at me, like she's jealous of the attention I accidentally gave the snow. She dances around the blanket of pitch black sky that almost swallows up her star sisters. Their beaming yellow glow saving them from a finial gulp.

Earthquakes no longer feel so foreign to my body my core Shakes the remaining fear And the foundation no longer feels stable I clench my fist and grasp for more But still the earth quake haunts me

One day she stood up straighter One day she stopped checking her tone One day she believed in herself and the rest of the world followed She gave herself the round of applause she so desperately needed Then came the standing ovation She planted her own flowers and watered her own garden And the bouquets became overwhelming She was her own inspiration and the creativity never stopped flowing She loved her self deeply and the blessings never ended That was the only lesson she ever needed to learn

One day You wake up and it all starts to come together Tears cried and lies told Fists thrown and biting tongues It all brings You here to who You are now Every mistake and achievement it all brought You here to awake in your beautiful light Z

I pause momentarily while the phrase dances around my tongue. I'm allowed to want things, why is he so afraid to hear it all? "What? Don't say what Steven?" I snap back at him. "You don't wanna hear what I need?' "You said I wish, not I need. I can only imagine the non sense you're going to spew." He says in his I couldn't care less about you voice. "I wish you cared about what I needed to make this work... " I pause for a moment to let the words sink in. He clears his throat and groans softly. " Ella, you're my employee, that's it. I don't know how we got Here..."

One day it was beautiful and all felt so real But the next day it scared me and went down like a wide pill I choked on my love for you and gave up my life Consumed by your villains, the dream this once was turns darker and darker Running and running to make this shit work I fight, I yell, I beg to make it work Then suddenly... It's over

I wish I had never let go Free-falling into depths l'D never wandered Entangled in lies and webs of empty promises, I wonder if that freedom is worth the fall Troubled hands reach out begging forforgiveness But it's too late We already let go

I count the days and clock the hours 1,2 we're almost there barely even able to stop and smell the flowers It all flies right past me as I'm waiting and waiting 3,4,5, why’d you stop counting? I think it's all gone You, her and me I think I've lost count, what day is it now? I trace back the days and retract the hours Still more waiting Time had never passed so slowly

Enough is enough, but what is that really? I do myself up, spin myself around But still that's not enough. You need more of me But when is enough, enough?