I sulked down 5th Ave, my daily dose of depression hanging over me like an umbrella. All Holden Caulfield and shit.

I didn’t look up, but I pictured skyscrapers reaching to the heavens of capital by my side, the smell of cigarettes and greasy $2 fries, while the fresh rain all the way from the lakes of Upstate New York would patter against my umbrella. But then, I arrived at my destination, closed my umbrella, and let the real world fall into view. Allenburg, West Virginia. Population: 356 sad country bums and me, now at the Old Maid, the only bar for 32 miles of winding mountainous roads. Fuck.

I exile myself to a town with only 5 rows of streets for some spiritual awakening or perspective on life. I guess I did it because I hate myself. Or at least a version of myself, one I’m trying to shed.

It took me two trains, a bus, and a walk to 481 Broad St. to find out that I don’t have an aunt who lives here. She moved away years ago, and it suddenly seemed conceited to expect a foreign family member to take me in, life-crisis and all. I cut all ties with my family when I moved to New York, and for good reasons. They all said a career couldn’t go anywhere, that being a walking, talking mannequin doesn’t pay the bills. It didn’t matter that they were right because I figured it out myself. And I liked learning the lesson that way. I’m best friends with spite.

Anyway, my money ran out by Cumberland and I was running on fumes the rest of the way. I’m used to being able to bribe with my body back in New York, but I learned quickly that it doesn’t happen here. Not only since I’m not a woman, but there’s the ever-looming presence of God watching here through these people. I get a kick out of the presumption they have.

But I had a sneaking suspicion coming into town. There had to be some boys with secrets or girls who aren’t children of God but were willing to be a little friendly. To get me out of this place. And as I enter the Old Maid, heads turn. But I don’t think it’s my clothes or even my looks. It’s not attraction, it’s disgust. I’m an outsider. I’m a threat. But as the rest turn back to each other to spread the newest bit of gossip in town, one pair of eyes linger. I head towards their owner, my prey, running my hand through my carefully cut hair to introduce myself to him.

As Kyonna and her brother Kevin is in the car with their parents Jamie and Lily, she couldn’t help but to look at the new environment she’s going to be living in for the rest of her life. Sunny skies and beautiful sunny weather in California is way more different than bipolar New York weather. She looks all around to see people walking and talking in the sidewalks until the car pulls right in front of a massive Victorian house which she immediately asks “Mom…are we seriously going to live here?” Her mother Lily replies “Yes why? Do you hate it or something?” She smiles while giggles “No…I love it honestly mom.”

 Then they all get out of the car together to see their moving truck coming down with their stuff from back home at New York. However with Kyonna, she sees some people across their street and immediately her brown eyes widen in shock as she sees a white buff guy staring at her. She whispers “Who is he?” The white muscular guy walks towards her which she blushes to herself. The white muscular guy introduces himself to her while joking “I’m Matt…soon to be your boyfriend.” 

Kyonna smiles while joking “Oh I’m Kyonna…soon to be your friend.” She blushes as he asks “So you are new here?” She points to the moving truck where he sees both of her parents and her brother taking out their stuff from it to put into their new home. He asks “Does your family need help?” She nods “Yes.”

They both walk to the moving truck where Matt asks “So where are you from?” Kyonna looks at him while she goes into the moving truck “New York and you?” Matt replies as she hands him the box “Born and raised here all my whole life.” She gets out of the moving truck with a box in her hands “Oh so hometown boy then? Follow me.” He follows her inside of the Victorian house to go upstairs to her new bedroom.

Currently they both are in her new bedroom where she is opening up boxes and setting her bedroom up. Matt opens a box to see sketchbooks and drawing supplies. He immediately asks “Hey…are these yours?” She squeals as she grabs her sketchbooks and drawing supplies from him “Omg…yes!” He chuckles at her adorableness “You must be very happy to have those!”

She looks at him while stating “Duh…this is mine!” As Kyonna is putting her sketchbooks and drawing supplies on the drawing table, her mother Lily shouts “Alright guys! We are officially moved in!” They all go downstairs including Matt who turns to her asking “How about I get your number?” He gives her phone to her where she puts her phone number and social media to him. Matt goes downstairs and leaves their home while winking at Kyonna which she blushes in return.

Maybe she can get used to being in California.

A bleak grey sky stretches past my car window, a watercolor splotch of a day. My legs ache. The radio has been on for so long we've heard repeats.

Mom doesn't mind, hums along to Bon Jovi like he's live in concert. Suits her, this lack of concern or worries. She's prettier like this, her eyes look brighter.

My shoulders feel smaller, cramped and rounded, like the world is shrinking around me. The world is only as big as Mom's two-door car.

My eyes feel light without sparkling eyeshadow. My lips feel naked without glossy lipstick. My waist feels unsteady in Dad's old Radiohead T-Shirt instead of a tight dress.

I spread my toes out against the carpet of the car, the crumbs from breakfast-lunch-and-dinner crunching beneath my bare foot. I hated high heels.

"We're almost there, look." Mom nudges me, smiling so hard I can see laugh lines like tattoos on her face, "a new life just waiting for us."

A newer, better life in CaterTown... that's what the welcoming sign says, anyways.

Moving into the new house is a blur, like the bleak skies that moved past my window. Diner is a blur, sleep is a blur, waking up is a blur.

Life becomes a watercolor, melting into itself until glitter and lights fade and I'm not a queen or a princess but an outsider to my own skin...

I tug at my cheek, naked without blush. Poke at my eyelid, pressing purple spots into my vision.

My mirror reflects a healthy young girl with average grades and a great smile, but it misses the insides. My insides are twisted up and constricting like a python.

No makeup to hide the desolation in my eyes.

There's a knock at our door. Mom can't answer it, she's out with... who is it today? Steve?

Mom is busy trying to forget dad's affair by sleeping her way through CaperTown. It's ok, we all have our own way of dealing with loss.

I press my fingernail into my plump bottom lip, trying to flush the blood to make it red. Mom threw out all my makeup, said I didn't need it anymore. Who am I if not a pretty face and a tight dress?

Another knock. They won't go away. If it's a cookie scout girl I'm going to rip my hair out. I can't have sugar, I need to keep my figure.

But it's not a cookie scout, or a girl. It's a boy. About my age, shaggy hair and an apple pie smile.

"Hey, I'm your next door neighbor." I blink at him, regretting my oversized shirt and boxers. "My mom held me at gunpoint to make me give this to you. It's a pineapple cake. We wanted you to feel welcomed to our neighborhood, and to never be shy to ask for sugar or milk if you need some. We have a lot, my Mom never stops baking, our house smells like a bakery. Hold up, are you ok darlin'?"

It's a pineapple cake. My favorite fruit is pineapple, use to eat so much my tongue would be raw for days. It's a cake, though. The last time I had cake was my fourteenth birthday, couldn't have sugar after that.

"Hey, did I say something wrong? Was it the gun point thing?" He shifts the cake, the yellow glaze catching the light, "Shit, I knew I shouldn't have said that. Y'all are from up north, probably ain't use to gun talk. I'm sorry darlin."

His voice is soothing, young and naive and sweet. Just like I was before I had to squeeze into a size 0 at fifteen. Without thought, chest light and giddy, I reach out. My finger tip catches the glaze, a tiny chunk of pineapple coming with it.

I suck my finger clean, a laugh smashing into my chest. It's so good, so sweet and forbidden and god, life could be filled with pineapple cakes and adorable southern boys.

No more makeup, no more hiding the imperfections.

"Ok, yeah, you wanna' check if it's good. I get that." He laughs, head tilted like he's trying to figure me out, "Do you want it?"

I giggle, throwing my head back as a bigger laugh slams into me. He joins in, confused but happy to play along with my sunny breakdown.

"Yes, yes I want the cake." I grab the platter, smiling so hard my cheeks hurt, "I want a sweeter life."

Breaking news on LA Today beauty pageant winner Margot Watson is moving to..hold on this can’t be right..well ok then Ms. Watson is moving to the suburbs of Milwaukee? Yeah that’s right ok everyone there you have it and remember you heard it here on LA Today.

“Mom! I told you I am NOT going to school today and yes I’m aware that it’s my last da in LA, but I’d rather spend it wallowing in self pity!!” “Margot honey I know you’re upset about the LA Today show yesterday but you’ve already spent an entire day in this cloud of self pity so you are going to school whether you like it or not!”. I trudged down the stairs my hair a mess and my beauty queen silk pajamas still on. “Mommy!!! Margy’s not ready for school!!” “Marty shut up! And I told you do NOT call me Margy for the love of god geez!”. “Kids kids calm down Marty, Margot will change and Margot he’s 7 he’s gonna say stuff got it?” “Yessssssss mom…” I mumbled. I decided that if I was going to school no one not even my friends were going to know I was there. After searching through the very very back of my drawers I found what I’d been looking for my black hoodie the only hoodie I had that didn’t say something about beauty queens or pageants. I put on the hoodie, some skinny jeans, and a pair of dark sunglasses, yeah sure I looked like someone trying to hide myself but I new from my two and a half years of high school that those were the kids no one talked to because we were all kind of afraid of them…I was sure I could avoid everyone especially my best friends Ally and Ginny and even more so my boyfriend Alex, there was no need for me to tell them of course they already knew I mean everyone watch’s LA Today I mean honestly what person in LA doesn’t like seriously if you don’t something’s got to be wrong with you.

“Ughhh mom I’m never forgiving you for that!” “Marty, Margot did you say your goodbyes?” Marty nodded I just groaned and slammed the door to my room to pack aka torture myself the entire weekend because Monday was the day of the big road trip I mean seriously it’s that hard to take a plane to wherever the hell this place was.

“Here we are guys home sweet home” I looked at Marty he seems perfectly content was I just overreacting…Nope I wasn’t I took one look at this ‘home sweet home’ and snapped out of whatever that feeling of sympathy was it ugh I missed my old self the girl who did t have to care what everyone thought of her and everything she did. Then it hit me we were in a new state, new town, new everything, I could start over I’d have to change my name I could go by Olivia, my middle name, but the entire country knows my face. I have to think of something though or else I’m through with this whole life thing. “Hey mom can I get like plastic surgery or something” “Honey, I’m sorry what?” “No I’m serious like I want to change my life I’m not gonna be in the spotlight so what if I just like completely change my face and like isn’t the only why some sorta surgery or something..” “Ok Margot I really never thought I’d have to have this conversation with you but plastic surgery is NOT the only way to change your appearance, sometimes you just can use a bunch of makeup I mean what do you think I look like without all this junk in my face” “Ok soooo can you take me shopping at least I need black lipstick and a bunch of black clothes” Mom sighed but picked up her keys and begrudgingly opened the door as I shuffle ran out of the house. “Thanks mom I’m gonna change my appearance! Oh and also I’m going by Olivia now then people really won’t know who I am” “Why Olivia? Ohhhh right I told you that was your middle name… well maybe nows the time to tell you that your middle name is actually Angelas” “You’re kidding right? My entire life my ENTIRE life is LA LA LA nothing else I mean come on my names practically LA… great.

“Come on dear, it’s time to leave for your first day. You mustn’t be late for your new school, you don’t want to start off on the wrong foot” mom called up from the bottom of the stairs.

She took a deep breath in, added one last swatch of bright pink lipgloss to her lips. Blew a kiss to herself in the mirror and flipped her straight, blonde hair as she strolled confidently down the stairs.

“You’re not going to school like that are you? There’s snow on the ground outside and you’re wearing a mini skirt and heels?” mom asked, concern creasing her forehead.

“Relax, mom. You’ll give yourself frown lines. I know what I’m doing. No offence but I don’t need style tips from you.” Cheryl giggled to herself.

Mom huffed and marched outside to the car and Cheryl tottered after her. Mom knew better than to argue with her daughter. She knew it was better to choose her battles carefully with her and this wasn’t worth the hassle.

On the ride to school Cheryl thought about the last few days and how her life had drastically changed. She and her mom and dad had been forced to move due to her dad getting a new job here in Alaska and the commute was just too far. Her parents thought it was best if they all moved together. The choice was Cheryl’s beauty pageants or dads job and you can guess who won that one.

Cheryl resented moving to this little, good for nothing town from Cali’ but she was determined to show the school what’s she’s made of. She wanted to make a good impression; she needed to.

“I’ve got this! I’m a strong, independent beauty queen and I will shine brighter than anyone. I will be queen bee of this sorry little school in no time at all.” Cheryl mused to herself. She was after all, little miss popular.

Outside the clouds began to darken and the snow began to fall in flurries. They soon arrived at the gate. By now the snow was falling thick and fast and an inch of powdery, white snow had already covered the ice that was there to begin with this morning. Classes of people were still outside, now was Cheryl’s chance to make her good first impression. It was now or never.

Cheryl said her goodbyes to her mom and kissed her either side of the cheek. “Laters mom, mwah, mwah.” She opened the car door and instantly the cold, damp snow took her breath away. This didn’t slow her, she was determined to show off her best catwalk strut. This was always a crowd pleaser.

However, she should have known better. She should have known this was a bad idea.

Five paces. Five paces was all Cheryl managed before she started to careen into the nearby wall, before finally coming to a stop in a crumpled snowy heap by the front entrance.

“Haha, look at her!”

“What is she doing?”

“What is she wearing”

“Who does she think she is?”

“Wow, look at that bimbo” voices and laughter rang out all around her. The negativity was oozing off of everyone. She wasn’t used to this feeling at all and was surprised how she instantly felt upset and alone.

By this time everyone’s eyes were on the new girl. To them she looked like a prim and proper Barbie doll trying to show off doing god knows what. Whatever she was trying to do failed, miserably and people were not impressed in the slightest. She stuck out like a sore thumb.

Cheryl’s vision began to blur. For a second she was unsure what was going on but quickly realised that tears were beginning to form on her eyelashes. She pulled herself up and hurriedly got inside away from the many eyes boring into her outside. She blinked the tears away and refocused herself.

“Tears are a sign of weakness. Don’t show your weaknesses to anyone otherwise they will have the chance to use them against you” Cheryl repeated to herself the wise words her father once told her.

“Hey! New girl wait up. I’m Sophie nice to meet you. Nice entrance you made there, real head turner.” She giggled whilst sticking her tongue her out.

“Oh hi, I’m Cheryl. Yeah, that definitely was not the way I planned it in my head” she said sheepishly.

The sharp ding-a-ling of the bell tolled signalling it was time for first period.

In Cheryl’s mind she pondered over what was to come next “I hate this place.” She thought.
“It couldn’t possibly get any worse could it?”

Shards of daylight slitted across the regal bedroom. Crisp white linens and crushed velvet pillows littered the bed. Blade lifted her head to scrowl at the morning. The air was fresh and smelt of brisk wind, sea foam, and weirdly a touch of fish. Blade grimaced. She had argued with her grandmother, the Dowager Queen Evander, against the trial marriage. The idea of ceremonial temporary marriage between individuals from prominent families in warring countries made senses for policiticans, but not for the warrior caste. Blade had been ready to die for Crest but never to marry to stop a war. Grandmother had had to order Blade to comply. She remembered seething the entire trip from her mountain clan home to the valley of Lanx. She remembered fighting her own BlackCoat soldiers to rend the ceremonial bridal mask. With shame she remembered crying herself to sleep in the ridiculous royal bed. In a sudden fury, Blade lashed out at one of the velvet pillows. She kicked and tossed. A flurry of goose feathers showered the once sumptuous bedding. An unexpected sound made Blade whip around in surprise. A slim feature on a blush pink brocade chaise lounge was clapping. Blade reached for her waist knife and then realized the elders had disarmed her before her trip to meet her husband. Fluidly Blade took a barehanded fighting stance. The lanky young man laying on the small sofa smiled. “Explain or die,” Blade hissed. The man chuckled. “Die it is.” “Stop your highness.” The stranger sat upright, hiding his laughing mouth. Blade leapt from the canopy bed, whipped a sharpen hairpin from her curly head, and seized the stranger by the throat. His eyes grew large with surprise and then he burst into laughter. Blade considered how difficult it was to stab someone who was laughing. She tighten her grip. “I’m Zex, I mean Crown Prince Isaax from the royal house of LeVanell, your highness,” Zex squeaked. “Welcome you to Maryna.” Blade continuing squeezing as his words seeped in. Zex pushed with all his might against the shapely warrior to no avail. “Wait are you my husband?” Blade released him. “What! you wish. You’re hideous,” Zex said coughing. “You’re bethored to my unfortunate lunkhead big brother. I’m your etiquette tutor.” Blade lunged for him and Zex skittered out of reach. She gave chase and soon they were running around the canopy bed. She made a grab for him and Zex smacked her with a gold colored bolster pillow. “Why am I in Maryna? I don’t need a damned teacher!” “Of course not, you’re the model of congeniality. You’re too genteel for the intellectuals and highborns of Lanx so the elders of your country and mine thought they would ship you out to the summer home of the royal house of Maryna to make you more coarse and savage,” Zex shouted waving his pillow in his left hand and picking up a chamberpot with the right. They were both huffing and out of breath. Blade lowered her hairpin and cocked her head to the side. Fencing, hand to hand combat, advanced poisoning, Blade had trained her entire young life in fighting and war strategy. Her realm had gotten strong invading and cherry picking the riches of its neighbors but Lanx had risen to prominence by forming powerful alliances with all of the free lands. Blade could lead a battalion like the queens before her but she needed to learn diplomacy and how to use a salad fork. Blade narrowed her eyes. “Who did you piss off to get the wonderful job of making me a lady?” Blade said and flung her hairpin to jab the Prince in the arm. Lightning fast, Zex deflected the hairpin with the chamberpot. “Pretty much everyone, Queenie.”

(I wrote this and submitted on accident without logging in. I tried to delete that prompt and rewrite it here.)

Last night I stood on my balcony overlooking Central Park. My skin tightened under the charcoal face mask, and I could practically feel my pores shrinking. The air was stale and thick, but the twinkling city lights calmed me.

This morning, I found myself standing in the smallest city center I’ve ever seen. A small stone church stood proudly at one end of the street while the other end seemed to disappear amongst the acres of farmland. I forced my way into the only coffee shop I could find.

“One latte with extra foam and oat milk,” I snapped, flipping through Instagram.

“We don’t serve that here, Sugar”, the barista scoffed. Her fingers danced across the tiled countertop impatiently. “We have black coffee. Would you like cream and sugar?”

“Ugh, fine. Stevia, no cream.” I rolled my eyes.

“We have sugar. Take it or leave it.”

As I went about my day, I grew increasingly desperate. There was one clothing store, and everything was itchy and obnoxious and sold with a side of groceries. I couldn’t find a single dry bar, and my hair was crying for attention. Everyone here stopped me to chat. Couldn’t they see how busy I am? Apparently not…

Then it happened. Just as the sun started to set. Blues and purples and pinks danced across the sky. My breath seemed to slow as it got darker. Dots of light began to sprinkle their way across the sky.”, growing brighter with every second. I could feel all of my problems slipping away. No lattes? No problem. Lost my gorgeous city apartment to developers? Who cares. I thought nothing could compare to my city lights. Boy, was I wrong! If every night gave me these stars, I knew I could adapt. I can adapt.

Last night, I stood on my balcony overlooking Central Park. My skin tightened under the charcoal face mask, and I could practically feel my pores shrinking. The air was stale and thick, but the twinkling city lights calmed me.

This morning, I found myself standing in the finest city center I’ve ever seen. A small stone church stood proudly at one end of the street while the other end seemed to disappear amongst the acres of farmland. I forced my way into the only coffee shop I could find.

“One latte with extra foam and oat milk”, I snapped, flipping through Instagram.

“We don’t serve that here, Sugar,” the barista scoffed. Her fingers danced across the tiled countertop impatiently. “We have black coffee. Would you like cream and sugar?”

“Ugh, fine. Stevia, no cream.” I rolled my eyes.

“We have sugar. Take it or leave it.”

As I went about my day, I grew increasingly desperate. There was one clothing store, and everything was itchy and obnoxious and sold with a side of groceries. I couldn’t find a single dry bar, and my hair was crying for attention. Everyone here stopped me to chat. Couldn’t they see how busy I am? Apparently not.

Then it happened. Just as the sun started to set, blues and purples and pinks danced across the sky. My breath seemed to slow as it got darker. Dots of light began to sprinkle their way across the sky, growing brighter with every second. I could feel all of my problems slipping away. No lattes? No problem. Lost my gorgeous apartment to developers? Who cares. I thought nothing could compare to my city lights. Boy was I wrong! If every night gave me these stars, I knew I could adapt. I can adapt.

Breaking news on LA Today beauty pageant winner Margot Watson is moving to..hold on this can’t be right..well ok then Ms. Watson is moving to the suburbs of Milwaukee? Yeah that’s right ok everyone there you have it and remember you heard it here on LA Today.

“Mom! I told you I am NOT going to school today and yes I’m aware that it’s my last da in LA, but I’d rather spend it wallowing in self pity!!” “Margot honey I know you’re upset about the LA Today show yesterday but you’ve already spent an entire day in this cloud of self pity so you are going to school whether you like it or not!”. I trudged down the stairs my hair a mess and my beauty queen silk pajamas still on. “Mommy!!! Margy’s not ready for school!!” “Marty shut up! And I told you do NOT call me Margy for the love of god geez!”. “Kids kids calm down Marty, Margot will change and Margot he’s 7 he’s gonna say stuff got it?” “Yessssssss mom…” I mumbled. I decided that if I was going to school no one not even my friends were going to know I was there. After searching through the very very back of my drawers I found what I’d been looking for my black hoodie the only hoodie I had that didn’t say something about beauty queens or pageants. I put on the hoodie, some skinny jeans, and a pair of dark sunglasses, yeah sure I looked like someone trying to hide myself but I new from my two and a half years of high school that those were the kids no one talked to because we were all kind of afraid of them…I was sure I could avoid everyone especially my best friends Ally and Ginny and even more so my boyfriend Alex, there was no need for me to tell them of course they already knew I mean everyone watch’s LA Today I mean honestly what person in LA doesn’t like seriously if you don’t something’s got to be wrong with you.

“Ughhh mom I’m never forgiving you for that!” “Marty, Margot did you say your goodbyes?” Marty nodded I just groaned and slammed the door to my room to pack aka torture myself the entire weekend because Monday was the day of the big road trip I mean seriously it’s that hard to take a plane to wherever the hell this place was.

“Here we are guys home sweet home” I looked at Marty he seems perfectly content was I just overreacting…Nope I wasn’t I took one look at this ‘home sweet home’ and snapped out of whatever that feeling of sympathy was it ugh I missed my old self the girl who did t have to care what everyone thought of her and everything she did. Then it hit me we were in a new state, new town, new everything, I could start over I’d have to change my name I could go by Olivia, my middle name, but the entire country knows my face. I have to think of something though or else I’m through with this whole life thing. “Hey mom can I get like plastic surgery or something” “Honey, I’m sorry what?” “No I’m serious like I want to change my life I’m not gonna be in the spotlight so what if I just like completely change my face and like isn’t the only why some sorta surgery or something..” “Ok Margot I really never thought I’d have to have this conversation with you but plastic surgery is NOT the only way to change your appearance, sometimes you just can use a bunch of makeup I mean what do you think I look like without all this junk in my face” “Ok soooo can you take me shopping at least I need black lipstick and a bunch of black clothes” Mom sighed but picked up her keys and begrudgingly opened the door as I shuffle ran out of the house. “Thanks mom I’m gonna change my appearance! Oh and also I’m going by Olivia now then people really won’t know who I am” “Why Olivia? Ohhhh right I told you that was your middle name… well maybe nows the time to tell you that your middle name is actually Angelas” “You’re kidding right? My entire life my ENTIRE life is LA LA LA nothing else I mean come on my names practically LA… great.

Once upon a time, there lived a beauty queen who had the world at her fingertips. She was admired and adored by all who knew her, and she enjoyed every moment of it.

But one day, her life changed drastically when she was forced to move to a small town in the middle of nowhere. Everything seemed so dull and boring compared to what she was used to back home.

She quickly became an outcast among the locals due to her glamorous looks and lifestyle; they thought she was too good for them or that maybe something sinister lurked beneath her beauty. But despite their coldness towards her, the beauty queen decided not to let it get in the way of making friends with some of the other misfits living in this strange place.

One night while walking around town aimlessly, she stumbled across an old abandoned theater where many oddities were said to take place each night - from ghost sightings to mysterious creatures lurking about - but none could be confirmed as true… until now!

On this particular night however, when our naive beauty queen stepped inside that eerie theater, something truly magical happened: It transformed into a magnificent ballroom filled with colorful lights and lively music! Everyone around began dancing away in joyous celebration - even those whom once shunned our heroine felt compelled by its charm!

In no time at all, everyone gathered together for one final dance before returning back home with newfound memories of friendship and acceptance which will last forevermore.