My eyes took note of her saddened, drooping eyes. Mine must’ve looked quite similar, reflecting the pain we’ve both endured. Looking at her broken expression made my heart break further, more than I thought was possible.

“Darling?” She slowly looked at me, her movements seemingly holding the weight of the world. I softly took her hand in mine and intertwined our fingers while my thumb rubbed small circles on her hand. I knew we were both thinking the same thing, yet neither of us wanted to say anything.

“I don’t think we can go on like this,” she spoke with hesitation. I nodded despite the salty tears building up in my glassy eyes.

“I wish it didn’t have to be this way,” I whispered. She tightly squeezed my hand, as if she knew this would be the last time she’d hold it. The lump was growing in my throat as I tried to control my uneven breathing.

“Neither do I… but this is the only way we can move on from each other.” I knew she was right, but I didn’t want to accept that. Why couldn’t I move on from her and keep her in my life as well?

“I’m sorry I couldn’t be brave for you,” she spoke with regret shining in her eyes. I understood her situation and why she had to do this. I wish I could lift the heavy burden off her shoulders so she wouldn’t have to worry. However the painful truth, was that she couldn’t live without fear until I got out of her life. That, that was the most devastating feeling.

“Hey,” I lift her chin and brush away a couple stray tears, “it’s not your fault, you’re the strongest person I know. Even if you don’t believe it yourself, I know it’s the truth. This situation is out of our control, despite our love for each other.” I pulled her towards me and embraced her with everything I had.

I held onto her like my life depended on it because it felt like it did. I let the tears fall down my face knowing this would be the last time I hug her. She slowly pulled away, her red, puffy eyes looking into mine.

“In another universe we’re together, I promise. A universe where I’m braver, where my parents wouldn’t disown me, where you love yourself. We just weren’t meant to be in this one. Goodbye love,” she whispered, her voice cracking. I watched her walk towards the door, my heart pounding louder with every step. She opened the door and looked back with a forced smile before turning around and walking out of my house and my life.

As I stood alone in the room haunted with memories, it only just dawned upon me that she was gone. I wished with all my heart that I was in that other universe with her, but I wasn’t. I was in this one, the one where we weren’t meant for each other. I numbly sat on the couch, gazing at the doorway.

With her scent still clinging to my sweater, I pulled my knees to my chest. Sobs racked through me, my body being torn apart piece by piece. It was over. She’s gone.

Goodbye darling, you’ll always be in my heart.