Sometimes, when it’s dark, I slip outside and stare up at the sky, the stars, the moon.

I can hear the wind rustle the fallen leaves, and I can hear you,

Your sweet, soft voice, whispering to me, if only I could make out the words from a living ghost,

Vanished, by choice.

I cannot feel you with me anymore, I can no longer read your thoughts, feel your feelings, mirror you.

The silence is soul crushing, and I descend into a hole I will never find my way out of,

But I don’t really care to try, after it all,

Desperation, turned to apathy.

I suppose I can’t blame you much, given what I am,

But I wish you could waste just a few more words on me,

Maybe one more “I love you,”

But most of all I really just wish it wasn’t true.

I wish you still loved me like I’ve always loved you,

And I wish I knew what I did wrong,

But you’re not giving any hints or clues,

So I just shake my head and shake my drink,

A bender named Emily,

A hangover you wouldn’t believe,

And it’s permanent

Like I always thought our bond was.

I’d still come home to you,

But I know you don’t want me to,

So instead I sit by myself

And blink back the acidic tears that threaten to pour from my eyes.

I guess I have to let you go,

But I really don’t know how.

I’m so sorry,

For whatever pain I’ve caused, and I hope it’s all better without me.

That dosn’t make it hurt less,

Nothing would.

But your happiness must come first,

So I’m gone for good.

For good.

For you.