The American dream just feels foreign to me and I never feel free just to go where I please but if I had money I could go to Cali and finally be the closest you can get to happy when you're me.

My American hell being stuck in this shell where I do not do well cracked like the liberty bell Trying Only to fail Instead of excel, And nobody will help.

I could use a way out Of the state I’m stuck in And once I get that chance, You won’t see me again. It will be the end, Cause all I need his dead, You were my closest friend. My heart cries every day, I just wish you’d have stayed.

Never know what you’re capable of until Another chance showed you That precious love that you have always been worthy of; An Adonis of your own. Life has not been kind to you for a very long time, It’s been so hard even just to survive Everything, but everything is what you are to me as well as what you’ll always be.

Everything feels so overwhelming, My everything, I miss you deep down in my bones. Life is hard to live-I know, You’re my person and I’ll never leave you, so please don’t leave me.

She Has been through so much, More than you could imagine As the demons inside her try, Try, Try To break her.

She Is fragile for now, But her spirit And her love Shine through the pain she carries. She will not Be broken.

She Doesn’t know Just how beautiful, How precious She is. Hopfeully one day She will.

She Makes me proud Every day In every way, She Heals me In ways I cannot explain.

She Gave me another chance To fix my dumb mistakes Do better, Be better, Try, Try harder.

She Will be there Even when things get really rough. Ride or die, Laugh or cry, The life of any party.

She Is worth the challenge Of gaining her trust It is only because She has been through so much, She Is worth it all.

She Will make you laugh So hard you cry. She Will put you before herself, And she deserves that same love back, The forever kind.

Sometimes I feel like I’m insane, Like I’m speechless, nothing to say. Nothing to lose, Nothing to gain.

Then I realize it’s in my brain, No matter what I take I’m stuck in pain, I don’t want to feel anymore, Don’t want to feel a thing,

A girl can only take so much, Until she must explode, She will surely meet her judge, And be fully exposed.

I know that it’s all in my head, But it still doesn’t make sense, We were supposed to be forever, But now we can’t even be friends.

It isn’t because I don’t love you, Know I always will. But I hav to show you the respect you deserve, No matter how badly it hurts me,

I miss you all the time, And look back at those good old days When we were always together, I guess I thought your love would last forever.

I wish you’d come back But I have to let it be. I wish you the best, Wonder if you ever think of me.

Sometimes it seems I have it all, With money, Education, But it came at a great cost, And I ended up forever lost.

Sometimes I feel so low And it doesn’t help to be broke. I want to leave but I’m just Too far From home.

My life is a city on fire, And I’m watching, As it burns, Alone and suffering, Lacking in love.

If only those thoughts didn’t creep in, Drowning me in an intrusive obsession I need to get out of here, This place is eating me Alive.

The suffering is intolerable, Never ending, And I’m so tired Of pretending Everything will be okay in the end.

Can we sit down At the table, And talk about the things We were unable To think about, Let alone voice?

Can you hold off On your judgment, Can you listen to me, Without interruption, Sip some good scotch, And try to understand?

I have loved you, Since I met you, I never want to surrender But I bet you Will be gone soon, If you’re not already.

Can I just have one more Moment with you Before we say goodbye? I need you to realize I’ve loved you All my life.

Be gentle with me, I am already broken. I know I’m not easy, And maybe it’s hopeless, But I don’t want to lose you Just yet.

In our last moments I hold on To the memories Of us Together Hopefully forever.

Pittsburgh to Philadelphia, Dreaming of the place I love, Sweet purple flowers falling into a beautiful pile of confetti on the sidewalks. and the scent of delicious bud, How things could just be sweet, Easy, Chill. Fun. Weird.

But I’m always stuck in PA, The wrong Oakland. So I reach for the drugs, Reach out to the plug. For sure need a buzz, I have got to be numb, Cause I can’t stand the pain.

But half that pain would go away, If I could get to LA. And if I could stay, Make that permanent change, Rather than a brief escape, To get myself through yesterday. But I can barely even pray.

Just the smells and the tastes From the great golden state, I’d be content enough To try to be tough, And to end every day With a smile on my face.

That is the American dream that I chase, I will not settle for this state. Each and every moment spent outside LA Is just a waste. Life in Pennsylvania is leaving me zero grace. The city of angels is meant to be my place,

So I will keep that dream alive In hopes that one day I’ll be fine, In Hollywood where I can unwind Finally allowing a slight break from the pain inflicted by my own tortured mind, It’s the only peace I’ve been able to find, And now it’s my turn to shine Underneath the Hollywood lights, Breathing in those heavenly nights.

We were a lightning strike, We were so broken, But then we found each other, And I never thought I’d have to worry again. I thought I had you, I was sure, But then you left me, Without a word, It breaks my heart so hard, I can’t glue it back together, It’s shattered and ruined, Just like my life.

I cheered for you so much harder Than I ever did myself, And I knew things felt hopeless, But I thought it would all turn out alright, And we’d be lonely together, But we’re not.. I’m alone without you, And that’s the hardest spot. You didn’t want to stay, So instead you walked away, And I can’t be sober today,

Fuck the 12 steps, I step in threes My demons are screaming And laughing at me, That’s when I miss you, And I wish you were here, But I’ll see you one day When I’m finally set free, You’ll let me in at heaven’s gate And I’ll be whole again.

I guess I’ll be lonely alone, Without you by my side, But I can hardly function now, Not sure I can survive. I need your lonely next to me, Cause I’m hollow now inside, And only when you’re here, You make my lonely disappear, And we are lonely together.

Sometimes, when it’s dark, I slip outside and stare up at the sky, the stars, the moon. I can hear the wind rustle the fallen leaves, and I can hear you, Your sweet, soft voice, whispering to me, if only I could make out the words from a living ghost, Vanished, by choice.

I cannot feel you with me anymore, I can no longer read your thoughts, feel your feelings, mirror you. The silence is soul crushing, and I descend into a hole I will never find my way out of, But I don’t really care to try, after it all, Desperation, turned to apathy.

I suppose I can’t blame you much, given what I am, But I wish you could waste just a few more words on me, Maybe one more “I love you,” But most of all I really just wish it wasn’t true.

I wish you still loved me like I’ve always loved you, And I wish I knew what I did wrong, But you’re not giving any hints or clues, So I just shake my head and shake my drink,

A bender named Emily, A hangover you wouldn’t believe, And it’s permanent Like I always thought our bond was.

I’d still come home to you, But I know you don’t want me to, So instead I sit by myself And blink back the acidic tears that threaten to pour from my eyes.

I guess I have to let you go, But I really don’t know how. I’m so sorry, For whatever pain I’ve caused, and I hope it’s all better without me.

That dosn’t make it hurt less, Nothing would. But your happiness must come first, So I’m gone for good. For good. For you.