The divine being stared at me for a moment and asked,

“What is the matter with you?”

Confused by her question, I answered

“I am so sorry great divine one, I thought I made it clear what I wanted and I would forever be your #1 devotee”.

She repeated her question with greater diction,

“What. is. the. matter with you?”

I thought for a moment,

“Well I’m in love and I want to help the one I love, feel as loved as possible”

Aphrodite grabbed a chair and sat down in an exhausted manner,

“So you’ll cut out your own heart and feed it to your boyfriend as an entree, that’s your solution. You don’t see a problem with that?”

I thought for a moment before replying,

“No I don’t”.

“Ooh ok” the love goddess expressed, “You’re wanting to become immortal, is that what you want?”

“No, no, no of course not. I just want to give my boyfriend my heart to eat so that he will feel better about himself.... and oooooh I see it”.

Aphrodite lite up, (even though she was already as bright as the sun).

“I’ll be dead, and won’t be able to enjoy it with him”.

“Well....yea.... I mean that’s pretty much the problem....

And then some...” she added.

“Please help me, what can I do?” I implored.

The goddess reached into my kitchen drawer and pulled out a cigarette that I had been secretly saving for months. She light it up with her finger and took in a deep puff of smoke.

“Well... first of all you need therapy, like now.

Secondly, you both already love each other. I can see that. You just need to keep supporting one another through tough times. But my sweet, stupid girl, do not sacrifice yourself for love. It’s unnecessary. So many have died in my name, and when I was a young Olympian goddess, it flattered me. It did, a great deal, but I’m wiser now and I know there’s nothing more tragic than to allow something so beautiful to go to waste. So I say keep being supportive and help each other grow. But do not, I repeat do not cut out your own heart and feed it to him!”

“Thank you Aphrodite, this means a lot to me”

The goddess threw the half finished cigarette to the floor and stomped out the ember.

“Are we done now” she asked.

“Yes, thank you again” I replied with great relief.

All at once she vanished in a cloud of pink glittering light and I put away my ritual items. I suddenly heard the door open and my sweetheart’s voice say “hello”.

I walked over and gave him a huge hug and kiss, and he looked surprised yet content.

He pulled out a large brown bag,

“I brought us dinner!”

“What is it?” I asked.

“My Dr said I’m severely iron deficient and decided to go nuts and get two juicy steaks for dinner”

The end.