What She Didn’t Know
It happened the same way falling in love did, gradually and then all at once. This person whose entire being I was once so sure I knew completely, was now a stranger to me. Who was he, really? What was he capable of? What had I willfully ignored? Connor had offered me a dream life but in this moment, face to face, I realize something has shifted. I fear my life has become a nightmare. The lies I’d uncovered over the last several months all came rushing back. In isolation, none of them were an indictment. A lie of omission here, something he conventiently forgot to mention there, but the whole was greater than its parts and together the picture they painted was grim. I’d never concerned myself with our finanaces. I had free reign to spend what I needed, no allowance necessary, assured there was more than enough. I didn’t look at prices or bank accounts. I let Connor lead me. What once felt like happy ignorance has become shame. I hear the whispers, how could she not have known, and I wonder the same thing. I didn’t know what he was doing with our money, let alone anyone else’s. I didn’t know where he was all those late nights, was never completely clear on what his job entailed. In fact, if you asked me now, I would tell you I never knew Connor Shane at all. He was as much a mystery to me as he was to anyone else.