You’re gone

but the night they called, it

couldn’t have been true

I sat by the door waiting for one hour

then two

then three then four then five

‘till I went up to bed and

knew that I’d just see

you in the morning

The second night without you I

faced the dark alone and

asked you to come back

I’d be better,

I promised

I’d pamper you and cherish you

and love you outside

as much as I did in

And I fell asleep with

the plea on my exhale

When you weren’t home the next

night I was

angry

How could you

How could you leave me alone in

this cruel cruel world

You broke your

vow and I hated you for

it but I slept with my words pressing

on my tongue and guilt

balanced between my teeth

The night afterwards was

much the same

as the day

I couldn’t make it to bed,

couldn’t bear to be in our bed

so I stayed

on the couch

Tried to fill the emptiness in the

shape of you but the bottle

didn’t fit

The sun rose

and fell

and I saw half standing in the mirror

where I stood

Didn’t know myself, my skin

itching like someone else’s as my

soul caught fire next to

you, but the smoke wandered the

stars I saw

behind my eyelids

alone

I thought about you that

following night and for a

time I could feel your smile,

my fingers running through your hair

You shone in my thoughts,

not a star but

my sun

As my breathing steadied my

hand rested on the cool sheets tangled with

the memory of you

Six nights I grieved

And the seventh was when I

knew

You weren’t coming back

It wasn’t peace I felt but

acceptance as I scattered the ashes

of our life and retuned home,

alone because

you’re gone